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What the fuck do you mean you’re not coming home, ever?
I’m done with you. I know what you did, and I can’t forgive you.
My phone rings and I let it go to voicemail. It rings several more times, and each time, a voicemail is left. Then I get a text.
It just happened. I’m sorry. I don’t love her. Please call me.
I can’t call him because I begin to sob again. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he destroyed me. JC comes to me and takes me in his arms, holding me against his chest. I know I shouldn’t let him, but I need comfort. He doesn’t let go until I’m all but sniffling.
“I have some tissues in the drawer of the nightstand.”
I pull it open, and besides the tissues there’s a bunch of condoms and some lubricant. Just what I need to see. JC looks at me sheepishly.
“I’m sorry.”
Why is he apologizing? We’re not together, and he’s separated. I don’t expect him to wait around for his divorce to be finalized before he sleeps with someone else.
“I didn’t just buy them. I’ve had them for a while. Brianna has a thing about messing up the sheets when they’ve just been changed. I haven’t slept with anyone since her, and that was a while ago.”
“You don’t need to explain. I don’t expect you to wait.”
He takes the tissue out of the drawer and wipes at my cheeks. I close my eyes as he cleans my skin. I realize my phone is still in my hand. Noah hasn’t texted me again, and I’m curious to hear the voicemails. I dial to listen. Four messages and he sounds like he’s been crying. It would break my heart if it weren’t already broken.
“Lexi, as much as I want to tell you to tell him to go fuck off, I’m not going to. I know you’re hurt, but you should let him explain,” JC says.
“I can’t. Your cheating on me was hard enough, but now Noah. I feel like I’ve been punched. I love him but he betrayed me.”
“I wish I could make it better, but you have to give him a chance.”
“Why, JC? Why should I?”
“Because he’s good for you. He made a mistake.”
“I bet if I fucked you, he wouldn’t be saying the same thing.”
“You want to do it and then tell him?” he says as he smirks at me.
“Stop it. You’re trying to make me laugh.”
“I want you to just hear him out.”
“Can you explain to me why you’re not jumping for joy? I would think that you would be happy I’m going to leave him.”
“I don’t want you by default. I want you to be with me for your own reasons, not because you left him because he cheated.”
I can understand what he’s saying, and I appreciate that he wants me to be sure about Noah before I end it. I think I should hear Noah out but not tonight. I need rest, and I’m not going to run back to him like a dog that’s been beaten. He’s going to have to suffer the way I am right now.
“Should I tell him that I’m willing to talk?”
“Do you think he deserves to stew in his juices for a night?”
“Yes. I can’t get it out of my head, seeing him with her.”
“He fucked up bad. Tell him tomorrow.”
I take JC’s hand and kiss the palm. I can see that the small gesture has caused his face to flush. I don’t want to lead him on, and I drop his hand, slipping back under the covers.
“Lexi, are you going to work tomorrow?”
