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Chapter 5
Xander felt horrible. He had come down with the flu, even though he couldn’t imagine who would get the flu in the summer. His temperature hovered at around one hundred one point five for a couple of days until Billy came and took him to the doctor for some antibiotics. He had a sinus infection on top of the flu, and it triggered a memory; the time that Ava was sick with the same thing. He had taken care of her. He stayed home from work and took her to the doctor.
He missed having someone to take care of him and for him, to help, too. He picked up the pre-paid phone he had gotten a week ago. His father insisted he get a cell phone so he could be reached. His mother was not doing well and had started antibiotic IVs twice a week for her Lyme disease. His father admonished him since he didn’t check his emails often enough, he needed to get in touch with him somehow.
He picked up the phone and put her number in the text box. He had no idea if she had the same one but just the same he typed his message and hit the send button. A minute later he received his answer. He put the phone down on the pillow next to him and felt comforted by the message. At least he was still in her mind.
The next few days he spent in bed, feeling better. Janelle brought him soup and Gatorade. He didn’t feel much like eating. The only comfort he found was turning on his phone and looking at her message. He had no idea why after all these years he felt worse about not being with her than when he first left.
On the fifth day, he felt good enough to get dressed and go outside. It was hot and humid with temperatures in the nineties. He got into his truck and made a trip to town. He could have easily run it, but he wasn’t feeling one hundred percent and didn’t want to push himself. Tomorrow, he promised himself that he would start running again. He stopped at his favorite burger joint and got a double cheeseburger with chili fries. He had been dreaming of them all week, and Janelle refused to get food that heavy for him when he was sick.
Back at his apartment he took large bites of his burger and shoveled fries into his mouth. This elicited another memory for him. There was a time Ava had said to him she noticed how could he eat burgers every day.
Four years later, and he was still able to do it though he was nearing thirty-two. He knew that he shouldn’t eat this way. He was healthy, running several miles each day and working at the lumberyard kept him in better shape than when he lived in the city. He used to work out five days a week on the weights, but it didn’t give him the muscles that he had from the outside work he did now.
Xander woke the next day, July second, just before dawn. It had been so hot this summer that he preferred to run in the early hours of the morning. His normal run would be three miles to the Hudson River and back. He could do it in less than forty-five minutes if he ran at a moderate pace, faster if he ran at full speed, but he preferred a moderate pace. He would be back home by 6:00 AM and he could shower, dress and be at the lumberyard before 7:30 when Bill opened the place.
Xander had moved into his little apartment above the garage and lived there while they renovated it. He spent the first two months drinking himself into a stupor each night while listening to music that made him think of Ava. Finally, Janelle put a foot in his ass and told him that if he didn’t get it together, she was going to kick him out.
While he was still severely hung over from the prior night’s overindulgence, she made him pour all the bottles of alcohol he had in his apartment down the sink. Then, with a splitting headache, she watched as he cleaned the place. She made him some good strong black coffee and told him he had to get a job and pay rent.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Xander,” she spat at him. “You’re not the only one that has had to face adversity. I’m doing you a favor by letting you stay here and lying to your parents about your whereabouts. I expect you to be appreciative, like do stuff around the property and help with the kids when Billy and I need it. I also expect you to get a job because eventually your savings will be gone. If you can agree then you can stay; otherwise, you need to leave.”
Xander looked at her with bloodshot eyes while he nursed his coffee and agreed. The next day, her father-in-law offered him a job working in his lumberyard after seeing his handiwork during the renovation. Xander no longer had aspirations to work as an attorney, now a notion from his past. He couldn’t do it without her by his side. The last thing he requested was that they no longer call him Xander. He wanted to be called Alex. Janelle thought it silly to abandon a nickname he had for his entire life but she humored him.
He breathed in the mist-filled morning air as he ran towards the river. The sun was just starting to rise, and he slipped on his sunglasses as he ran eastward. The lumberyard would be closing early tomorrow so the employees could prepare for the Fourth, the next day.
The town usually had a parade in the morning, and fireworks display over the river just after sunset. Xander was looking forward to it because it meant that he could be with his young cousins. Jimmy always liked to sit on his shoulders when the parade came while Sophia sat on her father’s.
He entered the park by the river and ran the loop leading back to the house. When he got back to his place, the sun was fully up and the morning mist had almost burned off. It was already warm outside even though it was barely 6:00 AM. He took a quick shower and got dressed. He wished he could wear shorts, but Bill insisted all employees wear jeans and boots (but at least he could wear a tank top).
He had been doing that since it had gotten warm, leaving his shoulders, arms, neck and face deeply tanned. Even with his long hair (which he kept in a ponytail during work hours) and unkempt beard, women still flocked to him. Janelle had tried several times to set him up under the guise that a friend just stopped by for dinner.
He wasn’t stupid, and he knew what she was doing. He didn’t feel the need for female companionship of any type and could have done what he did in college (just had serial hook-ups with women), but he was no longer twenty years old. He was almost thirty-two, and he only wanted to sleep with one specific woman.
It was quiet at the lumberyard when he arrived. He leaned against his truck sipping his coffee, waiting for Bill to arrive and open the gates. He hoped that it would be an easy day.
When Bill came five minutes later, he flipped Xander the keys to the gate from his car window. Xander opened the gates and set the doorstops. Other employees started to filter into the parking lot. Bill greeted Xander warmly. Over the past four years, he treated him like his own son.
“Alex, how are you on this fine day?” Bill asked as he thumped him on the shoulder.
“Good, Bill. How are you? Looking forward to tomorrow?”
“I am if Janelle makes that potato salad I love so much.”
“I’m pretty sure I saw her peeling potatoes last night for it.”
Bill smiled widely at him as Xander handed him the keys back.
“Why don’t you keep that set?”
Xander shook his head. “Maybe you should give Billy the keys.”
“Alex, Billy has no interest in this lumberyard. I need someone to carry on my legacy. I think you’re just the guy. Keep the set, please.”
Xander shook the keys in his hand and put them in his pocket. He had told Bill before he preferred not to have the responsibility of the yard. This time he would humor him and take the keys. He sometimes wished that his father treated him the way Bill did.
Peter Wilder had always been hard on Xander. He expected a lot from him when he was a child and kept pressing him. It was yet another reason why he chose to stay away. Deep down, he had a fear that he could never live up to his father’s expectations.
