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“You. He still likes me, and I told him that wasn’t a possibility.”
Inwardly, Xander breathed a sigh of relief. He was worried that with the precariousness of their relationship, that any potential rival could take her away from him. He knew it was irrational, but he had his doubts.
Later that night in bed they did something they hadn’t done in several nights, spooned. He loved having her close to him again, and it made him smile in the dark. He slept better that night than he had in days.
The next morning Ava was in better spirits. She felt better, and her skin was not as pale as the previous two days. They shared the shower but didn’t have sex. It was something she was hoping they would have that evening. She would be done with the long awaited exam and able to finally relax. On Monday she was flying to Georgia to see her family for a week and much-needed rest. They kissed before she left for day two of the exam, giving Xander hope that the arguments were in the past. He would have his old Ava back after today.
For the second day, Ava had lunch with Luca at the break. He again asserted that he would like to date her if it ever went bad with Xander. She told him that wouldn’t be possible since she was pre-engaged. Luca looked at her with surprise and told her that he wasn’t aware how serious the relationship was. He then asked her to have a drink with him to celebrate finishing the exam. She agreed to meet, and they went to their seats to complete their exams.
At a nearby bar that evening, she had one too many cosmos with Luca. They were joined by two other men that they had attended law school with who had also taken the exam. She was enjoying herself and didn’t realize that several hours had passed. She was drunk and Luca had to steer her to a cab so she wouldn’t fall in the street. When she got home, Xander was waiting and upset at her lack of consideration. He opened the door after a couple of failed attempts by her to get the keys in the lock.
“Where the fuck have you been?”
“I was blowing off some steam. Is that alright with you?”
“And you’re drunk. You aren’t supposed to be drinking with your medication; it’s contraindicated.”
“Big deal. So what is one little contraindication? It’s not every day I complete the bar exam.”
Xander was furious and said something that would cut deep into her.
“Yeah, you’re real good at ignoring contraindications.”
She stared at him and blinked, tears springing to her eyes.
Xander knew he had gone too far in his reference to her getting pregnant while on the pill and taking antibiotics. She said nothing as if his words had sliced off her tongue, and then she was seething when she quietly replied.
“How dare you. How could you say that to me?”
He had no defense. It was a low blow, the lowest he could find.
“You want to have the conversation about our relationship, then let’s have it now, buddy. It’s obvious that you have some deep-seated resentment because I got pregnant. Come on, Xander, why don’t you tell me your true feelings about everything that happened five years ago. You ran like a coward instead of staying. That was probably your intention in the first place. The accident just gave you an out to escape.”
She slashed him badly, and he was hemorrhaging.
He went to the entry closet and got his coat. She pursued him continuing to pepper him with insults.
“Yeah, do what you’re good at, leaving” The venom kept oozing from her.
He turned to her without disguising the damage she had inflicted.
“You want a break? I’m giving it to you. Have fun in Georgia. Maybe when you come home, you won’t be as nasty as you have been. I love you, Ava, but not like this.”
He slammed the door on his way out, and she went to lie in bed. Why had she said what she said? She felt horrible for it. He was trying his best to put the past behind them but was she?
* * *
Xander satin his boxers on the barstool in his kitchen. He twirled a half full glass of scotch on the counter as he contemplated what had just occurred an hour before. They obviously had things that needed to be discussed. He was a fool to think that they would just pick up where they left off. He didn’t know if this was the end for them. He did know one thing; he couldn’t live without her.
He downed the last of the amber liquid and left the empty glass on the counter. He was restless, but he didn’t know what to do with himself. It was late, and he had to get up early for court. Thank God that Jacob was co-counsel on the case because he wasn’t sure he would be able to focus after what just happened. But he needed to put on his game face and play attorney.
He woke with a splitting headache from barely sleeping. Her perfume was on the sheets and pillows next to him. He reached over, and her side was cold. He went to take a shower, and her shampoo and poof were there. Her hair products and deodorant on the vanity. He went to dress in the closet, and there were her clothes. Even the foyer closet contained her shoes.
Her things were all around him, but he didn’t want things; he wanted her. As the cab drove towards his office, he kept thinking how he could make it right. Though it was tight, he had put one of her hair bands around his wrist. It was a bright pink flat band with white polka dots on it. He also had slipped the ring on its necklace. If she couldn’t be with him at least, he would have symbols of her with him.
* * *
Ava woketo sunshine on the second to last day of February. She had slept well only because when she went to bed, she was drunk. Her mouth was dry, and her head felt slightly fuzzy. Sadness gnawed at her, but there would be no time to lament about what had happened. Upon checking her phone, she saw a text message from Rachel’s phone that had come in at one thirty-three that morning. She was in labor.
