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As soon as they got in the apartment, Ava changed. The only thing she wanted was to crawl into bed and go to sleep. She told Xander she wasn’t hungry and sat down on the chaise.
“Do you only do this with me or is it all the time?”
“Do what?” She mumbled without opening her eyes.
“Not eat.”
“I’m just tired. I have been the same weight for years. Stop worrying about me losing weight. I won’t be ninety-three pounds again.”
“I’m still going to keep an eye on you.”
But it fell on deaf ears as she had fallen asleep. He ate the sandwich he had made while she slept on the couch. She was so exhausted that when he carried her into bed, she barely stirred in his arms. He covered her and went to change out of his suit. She started to talk in her sleep, and he suspected she was in the midst of a nightmare. He waited to see if she would quiet down.
“No, please don’t leave me we only just found our way back. Don’t leave me; I love you,” she murmured. She kept repeating the sentences, and when she started to thrash, he woke her.
“Sweetheart, wake up.” He said as he gently shook her.
Ava awakened feeling disoriented. She had looked around the room and at Xander before she focused on reality. Her face was beaded with sweat, and he took the handkerchief from his pants pocket to wipe it away.
“Do you need anything?”
“This one was the worst yet.”
“I thought you stopped having nightmares?”
“I did until a few months ago. I started having them about losing you. All horrific and tearing my heart to shreds.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know, but the subconscious is a different story. I can’t control what I dream.”
Ava watched as he stripped down to his boxers and got into bed next to her. He pulled her to him, curling himself around her. She could feel the heat of his body making her sweat, but she made no move to push him away. She stared at the ceiling listening to his even breathing. As exhausted as she was it took her awhile to fall back to sleep.
The vision in the nightmare was of Xander, once again in a coffin. He was burned beyond recognition, and maggots were eating his flesh. She felt these nightmares were a harbinger of something terrible.
The next morning, he kissed her head as he got ready for work. She had wrapped the quilt around her face not wanting to get up.
“Get up, Ava, or we’re going to be late.”
“What time is it?”
“Almost 6:40.”
“Fuck. Can I call in sick today?”
“Speaking as your boss, no. I need you to do some research for me. Why are you so tired today?”
“I didn’t sleep well after my nightmare.”
She folded the covers back, and he kissed her cheek as she brushed past him. He handed her a cup of coffee on her way back from her shower. She had dark circles under her eyes that shown like bruises against her ivory skin.
“I’m going to need another nap in your office today.”
“Fine, get dressed already. I fed the cats. Come on!”
Ava was exhausted and dragged around most of the day. She sat on Xander’s couch doing transcription and at lunch took a nap. He loved to watch her sleep and let her well past their normal lunch hour. Jacob was off today, and there was no one to question her napping. He kept the door closed so that if anyone came by they would knock. At four, he woke her, and she looked up at him with sleep shrouded eyes.
“Time to get up. We have to leave for the clinic in an hour.”
She had completely forgotten that they were going to get tested this evening. She was looking forward to it since it would remove all excuses Xander had for not making love to her.
She finished typing the last of her transcription and dumped it on the network in Xander’s electronic folder. Then she closed her laptop and placed it on her desk.
Sam came up behind her and scared her. She wanted to tell her that they were planning a destination bachelor/bachelorette party sometime in April or May. It would either be on an island or in Vegas. Ava was not too sure on either since she didn’t like to fly. But Xander had worked his way back into the fold of friends, and that meant that he would be going. It would be nice to get away somewhere with him, but it would be hard to hide their love. She would worry about it later. She said her goodbye to Sam and went to the elevator.
Xander was coming down the hall, and she took the elevator before he got there. She was getting sick of this game each morning and evening. She met him outside, one block over and they caught a cab to the clinic. As they sat there waiting to be called she played with his fingers. After several months away from the lumberyard, his hands had lost the callouses. They were once again soft and smooth.
