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“You aren’t going to fail. You’ve been around the law your entire life. You have worked for a law firm for almost ten years, graduated near the top of your class. Why would you think you will fail?”
“I don’t know. I just worry.”
“Stop worrying; you’ll do fine. Have faith in yourself.”
Later that night in bed, she tossed and turned. She shrank away from Xander’s side of the bed because she didn’t want to wake him. He had court proceedings that morning, and she didn’t want him to be tired. Suppose she just wasn’t good enough to be an attorney?
Exhaustion overtook her at the office. She and Xander took separate transportation since they were worried about someone seeing them together. She hated that part of their situation. She didn’t want to hide, and she could only talk to David about Xander. She needed a woman’s perspective. The only one she felt comfortable talking to was Rachel, but she was almost ready to give birth; Rigo was at her side all the time. Samantha was practically attached at the hip to Robert, and she would surely reveal her relationship to him. She would just have to keep it a secret until it was time to reveal it to everyone.
She sat in the alcove transcribing her notes, practically dozing off. Neither Xander or Jacob was in the office so she could work at her leisure. She would have loved to take a nap on Xander’s couch. Instead, she drank more cups of coffee than she should have, causing her to be jittery by mid-day.
Shortly before 3:00 PM she heard the door to Xander’s office open and close. She stood by the door and heard him on his phone. She didn’t want to intrude, and went back to the alcove to type. Somewhere in the intervening few minutes after, she must have fallen asleep. She felt Xander’s smoothing the hair out of her face and caressing her cheek.
She opened her eyes to see him kneeling in front of her.
“You must be tired if you’re falling asleep at work.”
She yawned, “I am. I couldn’t sleep last night.”
“I know. I felt you tossing and turning.”
“Why didn’t you let me know I was keeping you awake?”
“You weren’t keeping me awake; I was awake. I was worried about the court proceeding since this is my first one since I’ve been back. It went well.”
“Where is Jacob?”
“He went home early. He was bleary-eyed from Nicole crying all night.”
“I think I’ll ask Jacob and Sandra if they want a night out. I can babysit for Jake and Nicole.”
“You might be better off asking if they want a night of sleep. I think they can use it. Jacob yawned so much in court I thought the judge was going to hold him in contempt.”
Ava chuckled and couldn’t resist kissing Xander. He placed his hand on the back of her head to hold her to his lips. She broke the kiss with another yawn.
“I need a serious nap.”
“Do you want to come in my office and take one? I can close the door.”
“I have been thinking about that couch all day.”
Minutes later she was stretched out on the couch and fast asleep. Xander watched her slumber, and his chest swelled with love. Her soft auburn waves were curling around the ivory skin of her neck and face. He was exuberant over the fact that tomorrow they would be taking STD tests. He was having a hard time controlling himself around her especially now that they shared a bed.
It had been seven months since they last made love and he was ready to throw his rules out the window. He would continue to take her on dates, and they would hide their relationship for as long as they could. At five, he woke her.
She yawned and sleepily looked up at him. “It’s time to go home. To which home are we going?”
“Can we sleep at my apartment again tonight? I need my bed. Tomorrow we can sleep at yours since the clinic is nearer to your place.”
He agreed, and she left his office to drop off her laptop and collect her purse and coat. Most of the legal staff was either gone or waiting for the elevators. She waited for Xander and got on the elevator with him leaning against the back wall. She grazed his hand with hers as the car went down to the lobby. They went out the building doors separately, and she met him a block down so they could share a cab. The sidewalks were dangerously slick since an icy drizzle was coming down and traffic was slow going.
Her need for him overtook her, and she took his hand, kissing and sucking on his fingers.
“You know what that does to me,” he whispered.
Frankly, he wished that they had gotten the STD tests earlier. He wanted her, but he knew they would have to wait.
She sweetly smiled at him and let his hand go, turning to watch the droplets of ice slide down the window. She couldn’t wait for springtime to come. As they exited the cab in front of her building, she almost broke her neck on the icy pavement. Xander shot his hand out of the vehicle to steady her or she would have been on her backside. They made it into the building without further incident.
