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“Yeah.” Nate couldn’t say more without giving himself away.
“We don’t have time for this,” Todd said. “Is Alisa coming back today? If all four of us go through a random selection of profiles, we could at least do a pretty good test.”
“Alisa’s on a date but will be back tomorrow for the interview with our successful beta testers,” Zane said. “Side note: When is she going to realize that jerk she’s dating is an idiot?”
“And realize she should be with you? Fat chance,” Todd said. “She has told you on multiple occasions that her parents need her to find a good Korean boy.”
“She’s an independent woman,” Zane said. “One day she’s going to be honest with herself and her parents and—”
“Guys.” Nate interrupted before they could fall back into the same discussion they’d been having since Alisa joined their team. “I’ve created a spreadsheet. It’s in Google Docs for you. Random profiles—only five each.”
Zane groaned and ran a hand through his short blond hair. “Even five each could take hours. That’s why I wrote the software in the first place.”
“I’ll get pizzas in a bit. Let’s get to work,” Nate said. “Fourteen days ‘til launch. Every minute counts.”
“I think I liked you better before you started working as a mailman,” Zane said.
“Oh yeah, how did that go?” Todd asked.
“While delivering the mail, I came up with an interface update to improve UX. And I also figured out a way to combat the operational inefficiencies we were butting up against.”
“Well, dang,” Zane said. “Sounds like we all need to get part-time jobs. Todd, you should get a job as a barista, so you can give me free espresso.”
Todd snorted. “Even if I wanted to do that, I wouldn’t give you free shots. That’s unethical. Do you know how much espresso costs per gallon?”
“People don’t drink it by the gallon,” Zane said.
Nate smiled. The sound of their bickering now had been like his soundtrack since freshman year of college, aside from the time he moved back to Dallas after his diagnosis. Still, it wasn’t the best background for productivity. He put on a Spotify playlist over a Bluetooth speaker. Zane made a strangling noise.
“Classical music is good for work,” Nate reminded him. “And Micarelli plays some contemporary songs on this mix, too. Hush.”
“She’s also smoking hot,” Zane said. “Have you ever watched when she’s got the violin and—”
“Two weeks to launch!” Nate shouted, turning up the volume. He could see Todd smiling at his computer. This song was intense, the violin pulling him along to move faster. The room settled, typing keys the only sound other than the violin.
As much as Nate didn’t want any issues with the app so close to launch, having to find solutions kept him grounded. Intense work kept his anxious thoughts from overtaking. When he had a singular focus, the challenge kept his mind engaged on positive things. But he caught Zane and Todd looking at him every so often, then exchanging glances, so he knew that they didn’t understand this. It was like they were expecting him to break any minute. They wanted to be understanding, but it was hard to fully explain his anxiety to them.
He knew right now they were concerned about the similarities to their senior year of college. They had a big project and an upcoming presentation. Lots of pressure—much more now than back then. It wasn’t just a grade, but their futures on the line. Money. Time. He had brought Zane and Todd into this and couldn’t let them down.
This time, Nate knew about his anxiety. It wasn’t a surprise. He had medication and daily practices that helped him manage. Now that he knew how triggering presentations could be, he had a plan for it. He would be on stage, but not behind the microphone. Zane, with his good looks and charm, was the perfect front-man anyway. And, per Alisa’s suggestions, tomorrow they were meeting with some of the successful beta couples who might join them on stage at Tech Start to share their stories. Now he just needed to make sure the app was in working order.
The addition of Colby made this much more of an echo of his senior year. It was like déjà vu on steroids. The launch he could handle. He only hoped he could handle this new wrinkle of running into Colby in person.
While Nate’s drive to identify bugs in the bot was about the app, he couldn’t deny that a huge part of it was figuring out if Colby really was married and had kids. If she was married, it was over. If she had kids, winning her trust would be more important than ever, which may be a problem.
But seeing her anger today, it all might be a moot point. It was going to be much harder to reveal that Nate was Napper in a way that didn’t make her think he was stalking her or just a terrible person. She had every right to be mad, but somehow Nate expected the soft, kind Colby he’d known. She was hurt, but if he could explain about his anxiety and surprise her with some grand gesture…
This idea seemed really, really stupid now.
Maybe he should stop talking to Sewzy on the app. Maybe he never should have started talking with her as Napper. Seeing her profile, though, he hadn’t been able to give up the idea of another chance with her. He hadn’t so much as gone on a date with anyone else in four years. While he told himself that it was fear over having to talk about his anxiety, he suspected it was more that he had never gotten over Colby. And their algorithm matched them together, which had to mean something. She had always been the romantic. If he remembered correctly, Serendipity had been her favorite movie. But now she seemed jaded while Nate was seeing signs everywhere.
Like the fact that he happened to take a temp job that happened to mean delivering mail right to her doorstep. And the fact that she happened to be one of a small pool of people who signed up to be a beta tester for the app he was designing.
Signs, fate, coincidence—whatever it was, Colby was right in the center of his life and Nate needed to figure out what to do about it without his anxiety kicking in.
His stupid anxiety. It screwed things up back then and even now, he found that it stood between them. Until he could tell her why he ditched her and disappeared from Rice, they couldn’t move on.
Move on? Stop kidding yourself. She’s got a family.
