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I sigh. The buildup of emotions frightfully close to the edge, much like they have been the last few months. Everything is a whirlwind, and my feelings are strenuously high like they’ve never been before.
“You need to take yourself out of your pity party and make this right. You have less than a day, Dmitri. Please, I’m begging you. You know I don’t ask for much.”
A lump forms in my throat; I hate how much she reminds me of Elanee. Because when she becomes emotional, it reminds me of the many tears that her sister has cried as well. I thought distancing myself was for the best. But little to my distress, Layla was often right.
I look at my wristwatch. It’s a little past midday. This means in I’ll go head-to-head with The Lion eighteen hours. The last two days have been a blur of putting everything in order. As expected, I haven’t heard anything further from him directly. I focused only on my revenge and how the fight might play out. But as single-minded as I wanted to be, I still thought of her. Could I really risk not ever touching her again?
Even if I didn’t think I deserved her, I had claimed her.
Mine.
Forever.
No matter how cruel it is that she even fell for a fucked-up man like me.
“Dmitri?” Layla says quietly, dipping her head lower to look into my eyes.
My jaw clenches, and I nod. A wave of evident relief washes over her as she releases a long breath. “Thank you. I’ve got a car downstairs waiting?”
I straighten myself and my suit jacket. “Just give me a few minutes. There’s someone else I need to call first.”
She seems confused, almost unconvinced. “You’re not going to escape down an alleyway ladder, or something, are you?” I arch an eyebrow, and she raises her hands in defense. “Okay. Okay. I’ll be waiting downstairs then. Just don’t take too long, okay?”
I wait until she leaves and clear my throat as I open the blinds to my high-rise office. The sun is bright and immediately intensifies my migraine, but I want to savor it as I pull out my phone and hit call.
It’s not until the eighth ring that my mother answers. “Dmitri, baby, it’s unusual for you to call at this time. Is everything okay?”
The lump remains in my throat. “Of course, I just wanted to call and let you know something’s come up, and I won’t be able to make it this weekend for dinner.”
“Oh,” she says, disappointed, and I know, at times, it can trigger her if she goes without seeing me for too long. I’m a selfish prick for calling. “Is everything all right?” she presses again.
“Yeah. Just a personal matter and I can’t change the date.”
“Does it have something to do with this girl?” she asks inquisitively, almost mischievously, as if she’s in on something. Amongst the craziness of what was happening, it seems almost comical as she still tries to meddle in my personal affairs.
In many ways, I was also on this path because I wanted to still protect her. From him. I never entirely understood why he never came for her. My grandfather told me she wanted out, and he let her go. But in another light, my mother also told him that we were cast out as disappointments. I don’t know why he never killed us, but perhaps he enjoyed the idea of us living in the hell he’d created.
“Yeah, it has something to do with the girl,” I say, trying my hardest to implore my charismatic mask. Something that, over the months, had become harder and harder to feign. I wasn’t myself anymore. Not my body or even my mental clarity. This illness was eating me from the inside out.
It made me weak.
“Oh, that’s delightful; maybe you should bring her next time you visit. Will you be coming the weekend after, instead?” she asks, and it’s almost a plea.
I consider what a normal life might look like if I did bring Elanee over and she and my mother met. I know already my mother would love her. Especially because of the way Elanee puts me into place. Most certainly because of the way I look at her. And I wonder if she’ll ever get to see that. “I think she’d really like that.” I lie through the phone.
“Oh, fabulous. Send me a list of foods she likes and I’ll have Katniss organize it with the chef. I’ll reschedule with your grandfather, as well. Oh my, a real girl! I never thought I’d see the day!” She laughs at no one in particular, and it brings a bittersweet smile to my face.
I round my shoulders, reminded of why I was doing this. My focus and motivation continued shifting over these last few weeks and acted as the anchor for what I was doing and why. There was only one other stop I had to make before my fate was decided.
I peer out the window and down at Layla, who patiently waits beside a car. It was time I became honest with the one person who had shown me their ugliest and most vulnerable self.
I at least owed her the same.
It’s only ironic that when I finally found something that was lost, I was willing to give any future away to make sure she remained safe.
The least I can do is give her an explanation.
One besides my hellbent revenge.
