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“Dmitri, you’re not okay. Let us help you,” Layla pushes again.
My chest rises and falls, and a manic laugh escapes me.
“Not okay? Not okay? Your sister’s not okay, Layla. My informant sent me a text tonight that she’d been hurt and made a fool of and what am I doing? Nothing.” I seethe. It tastes like venom on my tongue. I pull at my hair. “I have all this power, wealth, and influence, and for what? I couldn’t help my mother then, and I can’t help Elanee now.”
I kick in a cabinet door, splitting it into two pieces. There’s not enough in here to break. There’s not enough to purge this self-loathing.
I just need… I just need…
Her safe in my arms.
Layla licks her lips. “When was the last time you slept? When was the last time you ate? You’re working in your office fourteen hours a day running a multi-billionaire company, dealing with this sickness, and trying to take down one of the Bratva’s men. Dmitri, you’re not okay. I watched you at Luca’s. You look like a fucking corpse.”
“It was a dizzy spell,” I growl and I sink against the broken cabinet. My sight fades in and out, and I inevitably hang my head between my knees and close my eyes to try and push through the disorientation.
The high I was riding seems to slowly sap any remaining energy. The two of them quietly work around me, someone tripping over a broken piece of something. When I finally open my eyes, the Doc has a bag of fluids and a needle ready. I sigh as Layla crouches beside me, and for the first time, I see the room. It’s complete chaos.
“You’re not invincible, Dmitri. Maybe we should look into the surgery,” she suggests.
I shake my head as Doc puts the needle into my arm. “I can’t. I can’t stop until he’s dead and she’s safe. Until everyone is safe.”
Layla’s gaze is fueled with charged emotion, but she doesn’t cry. Still it’s enough to make us both uncomfortable. “I’m sorry to put you in this position to protect my family.”
I choke on a laugh. “Your family wouldn’t be in this position if it weren’t for me being the son of that piece of shit.”
“I’ve never once blamed you, Dmitri, and you should stop blaming yourself as well. When we all get out of this—and we will—my sister and I will need you as a whole man. You don’t have time to self-loath. You just need to focus all that hatred toward the man who deserves it.”
My head falls back against the cabinet, exhausted. It’s easier said than done. How can I not blame myself?
I look around the room, guilty for my outburst. “Sorry about the room, Doc.”
He casually shrugs as he injects me with something else. “Lucky you pay for everything here, anyway. This should help you sleep for a few hours.”
I sigh because I don’t want to sleep. Every sleeping hour is wasted when it can be used to unfurl The Lion’s claws so deeply embedded into Elanee.
“I just want to steal her away already,” I admit. I’m not a good man. I would sacrifice the world to have her safe again, but that isn’t Elanee. And the few people I’m not willing to endanger, such as my mother, grandfather and Layla, were all attached to this. If he isn’t killed, he’ll just keep coming for them.
“Me too,” Layla says exasperated.
A few scratches mark my arms. I must’ve nicked them on something during my outburst and I sigh, defeated. “I don’t want Elanee to know about any of this.”
Layla goes to speak, but I cut her off. “She has enough to think about. If she knows about this, she’ll step further out of our reach.”
She opens and then closes her mouth because we both know Elanee is self-sacrificing. If she knows I’m sick, she’ll want me to focus on my well-being.
This is my choice.
My body and demons to fight.
“It’s all really fucked up, isn’t it?” Layla says as she sits and leans against the cabinet on the floor with me.
I kick up a smirk that lacks humor.
I’ve never felt more useless in a world that I’ve built myself to be impressive.
I’m certainly not gracious about the humbling fall.
Being reminded of my mortality is becoming debilitating, especially when the clock is ticking to free my woman.
