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33.
Alex
Something is different when Ryan walks out of the elevator.
“My office,” he barks. “Now.”
Instantly, I’m on my feet and scurrying to his space. I don’t know what this could be about, but my first instinct is that I hope I’m not about to get fired. My second is that I hope he’s not about to do something crazy.
When we’re in his office, though, he closes the door and locks it.
“Is everything okay?”
“No.”
“No? Is something wrong? I cancelled your morning meetings when you didn’t answer. I figured you were sick or needed some time,” I start to say, but he’s stalking across the room, and then he’s reaching for me, and then he’s kissing me like nothing else in the world matters but this moment.
“I need you,” he groans.
I push him away, shaking my head.
“Ryan, what the hell? You didn’t call me all weekend. You didn’t text me back.” I stare at the surprised look on his face. This is the moment when I realize that he actually seems surprised that this lack of contact bothers me. “Do you not know that’s weird?”
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I needed some space.”
“Then you have to tell me,” I say. “I mean, I get that this is just a little fling, but communication matters, you know? I didn’t know if you ghosting me meant we were off romantically, or if you were dead, or if you just got bored. I had no idea because you said nothing at all. Hell, I even thought I might have gotten fired and nobody bothered to tell me.”
“Alex,” he reaches for me, tugging me close once more. “I am so sorry.”
“Why don’t you know these things?” I ask. “These are basic things, Ryan.”
“Because my parents split up when I was young, and then I went to boarding school,” he says. “Every relationship I’ve ever had has been completely dysfunctional.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning that anytime things get hard, we actually do break up,” he says.
“Seriously?”
He nods. “I’ve never been with anyone for as long as you and I have been together.”
“Which is strange because I don’t even think we’re really together. I think this is a fling,” I tell him. I’ve been trying to come to terms with it because I really do like him. I like him more than I should, and I definitely like him more than is good for me. Ryan is the type of man who’s going to tear my fucking heart out and I’ll just be left with this big, gaping hole.
“It’s more than a fling,” he says.
“Why do I believe you? I shouldn’t.”
Instead of answering, he kisses me again, and this time, I don’t resist. This time, I kiss him back like my heart depends on it because this time, it does.
His hands slide down my back and up to my shoulders before he glides them to my front. He cups my breasts over my blouse as he kisses me more deeply than any reasonable person should.
I want this.
