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And there it is.
Damien is proving that he knows me better than I give him credit for.
Yeah.
Yeah, I’m in love.
I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it happened. I didn’t want to adore her, but I do. Somehow, between planning for meetings and making out with Alex in my office, I happened to fall for her in ways I didn’t expect.
“She drives me crazy.”
“In a good way?”
“In the best way.”
“Yeah, you’re in love.” Damien laughs a little. The two of us don’t really talk about our personal lives. I know he’s had boyfriends since he’s worked for me. Girlfriends, too. Damien isn’t picky. Still, he keeps his personal life very separated from his work, and I tend to do the same thing.
“It’s not like that,” I say again.
“It sounds like it is. Let me guess: you want me to come back to keep you grounded. You’re worried you’re falling too hard, so you want me to come back and act as a mediary.”
“She won’t work here when you come back.”
“Does she know that?”
“Yes.” Only maybe she doesn’t. Maybe I’ve been too busy sleeping with her to explain that sooner or later, she needs to move on. This was supposed to be a temporary thing, yet she’s permanently impacted my ability to see straight.
“Make sure she does. I don’t want to ruin any lives when I come back.”
We talk for a few more minutes. Mostly, Damien tells me about his journey. He’s been having a lovely time, but I can’t bring myself to feel happy for him. I’m too annoyed with the fact that I’m hurting. I’m in love. I’m going totally crazy.
When the call ends, I pour myself another drink.
“Drinking alone?”
I don’t know how long Oscar has been here. He’s got a key, as does Phoenix, and they both know all of my security codes needed to access the house. It’s not like they can’t get in. I just don’t normally have them showing up unexpectedly.
“What do you want, asshole?”
“Oh, somebody’s got their panties in a twist.” My brother reaches for the bottle of vodka and grabs a glass. He pours himself a drink and sits down next to me at my kitchen counter. We sit silently, drinking. “You couldn’t have known.”
“We should have known our dad was doing something like this. He was never a nice man.”
“How could we have known he was stealing kids, Ry?”
It’s a name he hasn’t called me since we were little. I don’t have the heart to tell him not to.
“There were clues.”
“There are always clues when you look at the past,” he says.
“I know. I just didn’t know the clues were going to hurt so bad.”
“Our heroes are never really heroes, are they?” Oscar says. He stares at me for a long time. Memories flash in my head. There really was a time when I thought our dad was the greatest guy alive. It was a long time ago, sure, but some memories never truly vanish.
“I remember when he left Mom.” Oscar and I never talk about this. We don’t talk about the past. Honestly, we never really talk about anything personal. For the two of us, we just talk business. Always. Not today, apparently.
Something has broken inside of me since I’ve discovered my father’s secret, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it.
