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30.
Ryan
Drinking is the one way I can clear my head, and I’m three vodkas in when Damien calls. I answer on the first ring because that fucker owes me, and it’s far too late for him to be calling me to apologize for his absence. Fuck PTO. Fuck his stupid family visit.
My words come out as a growl. I sound feral even to myself.
“Where the fuck are you?”
“I’m at Granny’s,” he says. His innocent tone does nothing but piss me off even more.
“Sipping tea and eating cookies?” I can’t keep the bite out of my voice. “Where are you?” I don’t say I need him even though I totally do. I adore Alex, but I’m falling madly in love with her. I can’t seem to stop myself. This was never a problem with Damien. He kept me grounded firmly in reality. Falling for him was never something I had to worry about. With Alex, it’s all I worry about.
“Something like that,” Damien says. He breathes heavily, like he wants to say something more, but he doesn’t spit it out. I’m going to have to just ask him.
“What do you want, Damien?” It’s not anything good. If there was good news, he would have texted me. Damien is old-school, though. He’s polite. Despite being slightly younger than me, he’s got the heart of a retired butler. He’s all about efficiency coupled with politeness and good manners.
Then he finally spits it out.
“I’m going to be a little longer than I said.”
No.
I need him.
I’m falling apart and falling in love. I need Damien here so he can help me. I need him here so he can help me stay straight. He can keep me from drowning in work. He can sotp me from making a terrible decision with Alex.
I want to tell her I love her.
I can’t.
I want to tell her I need her, but I’m too broken.
I’m too damaged for a girl like her, and I know that I’m only going to destroy her. If I allow myself to fall for her instead of pretending like this is just a game, I’m going to break us both, and I can’t do that. Alex is too damn perfect. She’s too wonderful.
“How much longer?” I say. I don’t freak out. I don’t panic. I can get through a few more days without Damien, I bet. It’ll be hard, yes, but many things are hard.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong? Is the new girl not working out?” Damien suddenly sounds nervous. Did he think I would just let him go?
“She’s working out.” I’m barely being honest. She’s doing so much more than “working out.” She’s making me come. She’s making me feel things. For the first time in years, she’s offered me something to care about that isn’t revenge or anger.
For years, I thrived on the idea of sticking it to my dad. I didn’t care who I hurt as long as he got his just reward. Now I’m dealing with feelings I didn’t know I could feel. I’m facing these incredible emotions that I didn’t know existed within me, and I’m...
I’m cracking under the pressure.
“Then what’s the trouble?” Damien asks. “If she’s doing just fine, me being gone a little longer won’t matter.”
He’s right. I want to lie about this. Damien will think I’m weak if I tell him I’ve fallen for my new assistant. He’ll think I’m a complete idiot who is incapable of running the business I’m trying to manage, but even though I’m trying to tell him, I can’t quite get the words out.
“She’s just...really good.”
He laughs. “Is she now?”
“Something like that.”
“You’re speaking in riddles, boss. You in love?”
