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Thirty-One
“I called him,”Clay said as Jalen entered the room. “I knew you wouldn’t accept protective custody, and I hoped he’d be able to talk you into it.”
I shot Clay a glare before returning to glowering at Jalen. “You two are both on my shit list.”
“I seem to have a permanent spot on it,” Jalen said. He held up his hands in the universal ‘I surrender’ gesture. “Not that I don’t deserve it.”
“Since you two like to talk so much, you can talk to each other,” I said. “I’m going home.”
“No, you’re not,” Jalen said, then hurried to explain. “And that’s not coming from me. I asked the doctor if you were ready to be discharged, and he said that you need to be kept overnight for observation because you got hit on the head.”
I looked at Clay. “I can’t believe you did this to me.”
Clay stuck his hands in his pockets as Agent Matthews excused himself. “I would give you a choice and say that either Jalen stays with you or I put a uniform at your door, but you’ll pick the cop just to spite him.”
He wasn’t wrong.
“So I’m not giving you a choice. You have to stay overnight, and with your father out there, you can’t stay alone.” Clay glanced through the doorway where he could see Agent Matthews talking with the doctor who’d examined me. “Talk things out with him, Rona. If he’s still being an asshole, I’ll take him up in the mountains and leave him there. But I think he might surprise you.”
“Why are you defending him all of a sudden?” I asked sullenly. “Last I checked, you were on my side.”
His expression softened. “I am on your side, Rona. But sometimes, you need someone to save you from yourself.”
I could see how hard it was for Clay to tell me to try to work things out with Jalen, but he meant every word, and that more than anything convinced me to at least listen to what Jalen had to say. If nothing else, I’d at least get closure.
“All right,” I said. “Jalen can stay, but when I kick him out after he says his bit, I’m not going to be calling you for a bodyguard. That’s on you.”
“Agreed,” Clay said.
He took a step toward me, his hands starting to come out of his pockets before he seemed to think better of it and just smiled. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, and my annoyance with him dimmed even more.
“If you need anything, just call me. The nurses have my work number and my personal one. If we hear anything about your mugger or your father, I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks,” I said. I almost considered asking him to stay too, but I knew that would be selfish on my part, and I wasn’t going to do that. Besides, I’d promised to give Jalen a chance to explain himself, and since I didn’t know how personal that conversation would be, I didn’t want to make things even more awkward between Clay and me.
He closed the door on the way out, leaving Jalen and me not just alone, but isolated. If I’d been at home, I’d have at least had the freedom to move around my apartment, keep my hands busy. Here, all I could do was get back into bed and hope that Jalen wasn’t going to be as big of an ass as he had been that morning.
I wasn’t feeling particularly optimistic about that.
“You wanted to talk,” I said. “Talk.”
“I – I mean – shit.” He sighed. “I’m not good at this sort of thing.”
“Apologizing or explaining?”
He rubbed his jaw, his stubble whispering as it scraped against his palm. He still looked like he hadn’t shaved in a day or two, and his clothes were rumpled, but not in a ‘genius forgot to sleep’ way. Something had taken a toll on him over the last few days. I wanted to believe it was me, that missing me had affected him this way, but I couldn’t let myself hope that was the case.
“I don’t want to sound like I’m making excuses,” he began, “but I want you to understand why I thought…” He shook his head. “No, before I get to the why, there’s something you need to hear.”
His eyes were blazing as he turned his gaze on me and I was suddenly aware of how disheveled I looked. I hadn’t even had the chance to wash the blood out of my hair.
“I was an idiot, and I’m sorry.” Neither his voice nor his gaze wavered. “I jumped to conclusions. Again. I should have trusted you, and I should have talked to you. Both about how I was feeling this morning, and what made me go there.”
“Thank you.” I folded my arms more tightly around my middle. “And yes, you should have trusted me, but I already know why you went off. You told me about what Elise did to you.”
A part of me wanted to tell him that was why it had hurt so much. He’d essentially held me responsible for something his ex had done. One bad relationship and that was how he measured women. I understood that what she’d done had been awful, but it wasn’t like there was a series of betrayals and broken promises in his past.
Not like how I had losses piled up behind me, constant reminders of why I shouldn’t let anyone close.
