Page 20 of Played by Him

I slipped out of the house without anyone seeing, not trusting myself to be able to be convincingly upbeat. When Jenna wanted to tell Rylan about what had happened, she’d do it. Until then, the best thing I could do was let Rylan take care of their kids so she could work out things in her own head.

I drove about a mile down the road before I realized that I didn’t want to go home. I loved my apartment, but it was empty right now. As much as I usually liked having my own space, I needed to get out of my head, and I couldn’t do that alone.

I didn’t know many people in the city well enough to show up on their doorsteps, and with me coming from one of those places, it left me with only two options. Clay or Jalen.

It wasn’t the nearly hour long drive to Clay that had me choosing to go to Jalen. We hadn’t talked since the incident with Elise, but he was still the one I wanted. I needed. When I pulled up in front of his house, I wondered if I should have called first, but then the front door opened, and Jalen was there with a look of such relief that I knew I’d made the right decision.

Neither of us said anything as we made our way to the living room. I sat down next to him, close enough for our legs to touch, and wondered where to begin.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I should’ve called you.”

“Yes.” I was pleased with how steady my voice was. “You should have.” I put my hand on his knee. “But I could’ve called you, and I didn’t. Let’s agree that we both should have reached out and let that go.”

“I’d like that.” He put his hand on mine. “I want to clear the air about everything.”

“I’d like that.” I tried not to let myself hope that things were going to be fixed between us with a single conversation. What I’d seen tonight was proof of how dangerous hope could be.

“I was trying to protect you.”

“Protect me?” I wasn’t following.

“I needed to get you away from Elise and telling her to leave would’ve just made things worse. She would only start coming after you, and I couldn’t let that happen. Telling you to leave was the only way I could guarantee you wouldn’t be a target.”

Remembering how vicious she’d been, I could understand what he was saying. I didn’t like it, and I had a couple questions, but all of the hurt and anger that I still had under the surface faded.

“Why didn’t you call me that night and tell me all this? I would’ve understood.”

He flipped my hand and threaded his fingers between mine. “Couple reasons, some of which sounded more reasonable than others at the time. The biggest one is that I was scared.”

I squeezed his hand. It felt good to be touching him again. Right. “Scared of what?”

“Scared that you wouldn’t believe me.” His gaze caught mine. “Scared that Elise would keep coming after you. That she’d hurt you. Not physically. I don’t think she’d do anything like that, but when it comes to the things that she says…”

His voice trailed off, but I could see the emotions playing across his face. He meant it. All of it. He should’ve called me, but his reasons made sense.

“I can handle anything she throws my way,” I said quietly. “I appreciate what you were trying to do, but I refuse to let her behavior regulate my choices. If you want things between us to work out, you need to know that I don’t expect you to protect me. I don’t need it. If I ever do, I’ll ask.”

A little voice in the back of my mind asked if I was being honest. I wasn’t exactly great at asking for help, even when I needed it. I meant it though. I wanted to be that person, the one who could actually have an equal partnership with someone.

He put his hand on my cheek, his thumb brushing against my skin. “I’ll try to do better. I want this to work, Rona.”

I leaned into his touch. “Me too.”

He leaned forward, his lips grazing mine. It was barely a touch, but I felt it all the way down to my toes. Damn, I’d missed him. Missed this connection.

“Is this the only reason you came tonight or was there something else?”

I ran my hand over his cheek, enjoying the rough scruff against my palm. “I had to give a client some disappointing news, and when I left, I knew I didn’t want to be alone. You were the only person I wanted to be with, and I was tired of waiting for you to make the first move.”

He slid his hand around the back of my neck, his fingers strong and comforting. “I missed you so much.”

His thumb rubbed the base of my skull, sending a shiver down my spine. This thing between us…it didn’t seem to matter what we did or said, it kept pulling us together. Like magnets. Unable to resist the attraction. Not that I wanted to resist it. I was done trying to stay away, trying to explain it. From here on out, I was just going to accept it. Whatever work we needed to do, I’d do it.

“Tell me what you need,” he said.

“Hold me.”

His arms immediately wrapped around me, and he kissed the top of my head. “I’ve got you.”

For the first time that week, I felt safe.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com