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“That's no way to live.” Her voice was soft.
A gust of air left my nose. “I know. And I wasn't living. I was existing, moving day to day on a single track, never deviating from the plan.” I took a breath...and jumped. “And then I met you.”
“That's a bit of a cliché,” she said wryly. “Try something I'd never heard before.”
I laughed, unable to help myself. She stared at me with a wary expression, as if she wasn’t sure if I’d gone off the deep end.
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about, Briana.” I shook my head with mirth, and the words came rushing out. “You’re just so...you. You’re kind and sweet, but you call me out on my bullshit. You’re so different from every other person I’ve met, and I’m never bored when I’m with you. You make me want to open up again.”
“It’s all well and good you saying that,” she replied, her voice a little less steady than before. “But your actions so far–”
“Have been deplorable. I know.”
“Deplorable would be putting it lightly,” she said, crossing her arms. “You made me cry. That's something that even Elroy can't claim any more.”
“You're not innocent either,” I said, instantly regretting my choice of words. I hurried to clarify. “By that I mean, I wish you'd told me about Elroy. All of it. I could have helped you with him.” I inched toward her but still didn't touch her. “I could have helped you.”
“I can help myself,” she said sharply, but I could see the fear just behind the brave facade. “And I didn't think...I didn't think you cared. Why would I dump all my drama on you if you were just out to have a good time?”
“Is that really what you thought?” Her words cut me to the bone. “Bri, I can't go back in time and stop me from saying those things. But what I can do is tell you that I would have ended up back here whether Enzo hired that P.I. or not.” I took her hand. “I've been torn up about you, and about what happened between us, but my hang-ups about relationships were screwing with my head. And when I thought you were pregnant, something finally snapped into place for me. The thought of losing you was already so painful, but the thought of losing you and a child...” I closed my eyes. “I couldn't handle it. I had to come to you and make things right.”
I let things fall quiet between us and waited to hear what she had to say.
And waited.
And waited.
I'd run through this conversation in my head a million times on the way here from New York. I'd prepared for every potential response. Except silence.
“Briana?”
She looked at me but still didn't speak.
“Briana, please say something.”
“I don't know what to say,” she said finally.
I reached up to cup her face. She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. I lowered my voice to a breathy whisper.
“Say you forgive me.” My thumb brushed over her bottom lip, and I gave her the last thing I had to offer. “And say that you love me too.”
