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Dorian
Hearing Briana speakto me in that flat tone, like she didn’t even know me, made my heart clench in my chest. She was staring at me with an overly determined expression, and I knew it was more obvious to me than ever that I'd misjudged her. Grossly misjudged her.
I was an ass.
“Briana...” I stood and took a step toward her, uncertain what I could say to make things right. Everything I said to her the last time we spoke came back to me in flashes.
“Dorian, don't.” She rose to her feet and put up a hand. “You don't owe me anything. You asked what you came here to ask. You can go now with a free conscience.”
“Is that what you think I want?”
She ran a hand through her hair, ruffling it and making a piece stick out on the left side. I wanted to smooth it down for her, but the look in her eyes made me think she'd bite my hand off if I did.
“Why wouldn't you want an easy out?” she asked. “You never wanted to be in in the first place.”
“That's not true.”
I was losing her. Or had I already lost her? Panic gripped my heart and squeezed. I took another tentative step toward her, until we were so close that I could see all the different shades of blue in her eyes. I was surprised she didn't move away, though I caught a hitch in her breath.
“I don't believe you,” she said, expression hard. “You expect me to believe you after what you said to me the last time you were here?”
“I was harsh, I know.”
“Harsh?” she barked a bitter laugh. “Winter in the Midwest is harsh. You were downright cruel.”
She put her hands on my chest and pushed. It wasn't hard enough to move me, but I stepped back to give her some space.
“I am so sick of getting caught up with men who don't give two shits about me,” she hissed in a hushed tone that made me remember that Mikala was probably sleeping somewhere nearby.
“Yes, I was cruel,” I admitted. “I was mean and angry. And I'm sorry, Briana. If you kick me out right now, you'll never know how sorry I am.”
She shook her head. “You're only here because you thought I was pregnant. Would you have ever come if Enzo hadn't hired someone to spy on me?”
This wasn't working. I needed to give her more, or I'd never get her to see how sorry I was.
“Can we sit?” I asked. “Please?”
She took a slow breath, then nodded. We both sat on the couch, with her sitting as far from me as possible. I didn't like it, but at least she was still listening.
“I started dating a girl named Maggie when we were juniors in high school. I thought I loved her, at least as much as I understood love at that time.” I shook my head. “We were together for three years when Maggie got pregnant. Everyone expected me to be upset, but I wasn't. And neither was she. The two of us were barely out of high school, but we'd both talked about how much we wanted a family.”
I paused, letting the memories wash over me, both the good...and the bad.
Briana no longer looked angry as she asked, “So what happened?”
“We lost the baby.” My tone was flat. Dead. Just like I'd felt at the time. It had been like all of my dreams had been whisked from under my feet, and even though we still had each other, it hadn't been enough.
Ihadn't been enough.
“I'm so sorry, Dorian.” The concern in her eyes was genuine. As a mother, she could understand what the loss of a child would be like.
“It was a long time ago,” I said. “After it happened, Maggie fell into a deep depression, and nothing I did seemed to help. And then one day, she slit her wrists in the bathtub.”
Briana let out a gasp as I remembered what it was like. We'd been growing apart by then, but I'd still cared enough to be scared at the thought of her death. I'd dragged her limp body out of the bloody tub while screaming into my phone for an ambulance.
“What happened?” Briana asked, pulling me back from the present. I shook my head, re-focusing on her.
“She got to the hospital in time, and then she swore to never forgive me for saving her. The next thing I knew, she left the country. I never heard from her again, but I like to think she’s happy wherever she is. That she found love with someone else, maybe even got a chance to start another family.” I sighed and tried a small smile. “As for me, I swore off relationships altogether. It was easier to entertain myself with escorts than it was to deal with the potential for that kind of loss again.”
