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Briana
I should have beenhappy with my job. I was up for an amazing promotion that would allow me to break things off with Sinclair and not lose the life I had. Earl was impressed with me, and I had it pretty easy all things considered. But spending time with Dorian had completely sapped away my desire to do anything but just that. I loved being with him, around him, and I knew that wasn't good.
Not when I didn't know where things stood between us.
Or rather, I was pretty sure I knew where we stood, and I didn't want to have to face it.
The sound of a door closing caught my attention. Mikala was in her room playing, but it wasn't her who came into the kitchen and went straight to the coffee pot. As I watched, Tiffany poured two mugs of coffee and then came over to where I was sitting. She put one mug down in front of me, sat down, and took a long drink from her mug.
“What's your deal?” she asked.
I sighed. No point in hiding it from her. She'd get it out of me eventually. “I'm stressed out about work.”
She frowned, confusion showing in her eyes. “Really? I thought you loved your job.”
“Well, I've never loved it, exactly,” I tried to explain. “I mean, it's a good job, but it's not like this was my dream or anything. I know how good I have it, and this promotion is going to be great. It's just...” I sighed.
“Just...?” Tiffany reached out and popped a Cheerio into her mouth.
I wrinkled my nose and smacked her hand. I hadn't eaten my breakfast, but it was the principle of the matter.
“But I spent half the weekend having the best sex of my life, and the other half thinking about him but not hearing from him. And...” I winced. “And I think I screwed up.”
“How so?”
I closed my eyes and made the confession. “I let myself get attached to Dorian. I mean, look at me,” I sighed, gesturing to the bunny pajamas I hadn't changed out of yet. “Don’t you think it’s a little pathetic?”
Tiffany chewed thoughtfully on another Cheerio. “Okay, so the situation's not ideal, but what can you really do about it?”
I knew the answer to that, but it wasn't one I wanted to even consider. But I couldn't lie to Tiffany about it.
“I don't think I should see him anymore,” I said hesitantly. “I...I think it will only make things harder for me when he leaves. Which he will because he has a life. And I'm not part of it.”
Just saying it out loud hurt.
“So end things,” Tiffany said simply. “If that's what's best for you, then it should be an easy choice.”
I wasn't sure whether she was deliberately oversimplifying, or if she just didn't get what I was going through. Either way, it frustrated me.
“It's not that easy,” I argued.
“Why not?”
“Because it's not.”
“How come?” she pressed. “He's not good for you, so break up with him. Simple.”
“He is good for me!” I snapped. “He's been the only thing keeping me from turning into a literal ball of stress these past few days. He makes me smile. Even just thinking about him makes me smile. I love being with him. I love–”
I clapped a hand over my mouth before I said something I didn't mean. Because I didn't mean it Couldn't mean it. And besides, since I hadn’t told her about Elroy’s threat on Friday, she wouldn’t understand why it was so important to me to have Dorian around to ease my stress.
“Girl, you are in trouble with a capital T,” she said, shaking her head. The glint in her eyes told me that she saw deeper than I wished she would. “And while there's a lot I can help you out with, this isn't on the same level as looking after your kid a few days.” She patted me on the back and rose from the table. “You need to figure out what it is that you want from Dorian. And when you figure out what that is, you need to ask for it.”
“What?” My eyes widened at her suggestion. I shook my head, knowing I couldn't even consider it. “That's stupid. I can't just ask for what I want.”
“No, you're right,” she agreed. “You should demand it.”
Tiffany left me to chew on that thought. I'd never seen her so serious, but she had a point. If I didn't know what I wanted from Dorian, then I couldn't know to ask him for it. And if I never asked for it...well, I wouldn't get hurt, but I'd never get anywhere either.
