AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’m also eager to get some sleep. While my wounds are healing well, the process is painful. It’s hard not to pop painkillers constantly, but addiction is the last thing I need right now.
The moment I get in bed, a familiar face appears. Katarina Sokolov haunts both my dreams and nightmares. In some, she’s lying beside me, her hands tracing the planes of my body, coaxing groans from my throat. In others, she’s my undoing, the one who pulls the trigger.
I’m used to nightmares. They’re my constant companions in life.
When dark shadows dance on the walls of my room and the demons begin to scream their insults at me, I have to decide. To fight or to embrace the pain.
The privacy of my bedroom is the only time I let my defenses down. My mask falls, and for the few brief hours I’m alone with myself, I’m allowed to be weak. But not for long. I don’t let myself dwell on the losses and defeats or the fact that I nearly died.
By the time morning comes, I’ve worked through all the scary possibilities of what could happen. And when I get out of bed and take a shower to wash my humanity down the drain, I’m back to being Nikolai Volkov.
SIXTEEN
KATARINA
Time passes differently in solitude. There’s no clock to help me keep track, so it can be any time, three in the morning, or the middle of the day. Everything’s the same, again and again.
Survive until tomorrow.
This should be my new mantra. I have to earn the privilege of freedom. If I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in this room, I’ll have to turn myself into Nikolai Volkov’s perfect mate.
“Screw that,” I mutter under my breath. I refuse to be a prisoner and his puppet. Even though he’s the one holding the key to my freedom, I won’t make things easy for him.
True to his word, Nikolai had fresh clothes and cosmetics delivered. He sent designer jeans, soft dresses, expensive lounge clothes, underwear, and comfortable flats, all in my size. He even sent workout gear: a yoga mat and blocks, exercise bands, and a Pilates ball.
After a long hot shower, I pick a black Ralph Lauren dress that falls just above my knees. I spend some time styling my hair and putting on makeup. It’s not for him as much as it is for me to feel like a human despite these circumstances.
I set out to explore my bedroom-prison. I discover that there are no clues to tell me whether I’m being watched or not. There’s no outlet where I can try to contact people outside my four walls.
Back on the bed, I pick up one of the books that were delivered. For some reason, they’re all dark romances with explicit sex scenes. It could be one of his tactics to get me sexually frustrated and desperate for my captor to give me release. Or, I just have a twisted man who thinks he can read my thoughts.
Before I’m ready to face the monster at the door, I’m already hungry. Dinner time must be approaching.
Though there’s an obvious lack of windows, I have gotten two deliveries since he left. One was clearly breakfast, and the other was lunch. Now all that’s left is dinner, which means it’s time to face Nikolai.
Furious anger burns in my veins, and I pace the room, a whirlwind of thoughts popping into my mind and distracting me. After all, he has turned my life into a total disaster.
My freedom is gone.
My life.
My hopes and dreams.
All gone.
To make things even worse, there’s that one gut-twisting thought I don’t dare look into too deeply.
Why does all this also excite me?
Surely, my thoughts are getting clouded by the effects of everything that’s happened, the lack of friends, and the dull isolation.
That must be the reason. Otherwise, something is wrong with me.
I’m a sworn feminist. I hate men who think they can control women. In a hypothetical situation, I would tear their heads off. But now that I’m living it, I can’t deny that under all my anger and frustration, there’s a hint of arousal. It’s subtle enough that I’m able to ignore it, and yet, it’s strong enough that I can identify it.
Why is my body choosing to rebel against me?
The familiar sound of the food trolley being wheeled toward the room gets my attention. This time, there are two sets of footsteps.
