Page 60 of Ice Queen


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It’s only after my snarl reaches my ear that I realize I’ve launched myself across the room. Only when my hands are around his neck that I realize what I’m doing. Only when the two of us hit the ground and his fist connects with my temple that I loosen my grip and roll away.

Reginald huffs, his cheeks red, an evil gleam in his eye. “You actually care about her.” He brushes imaginary dust off his shirt as he heaves himself off the ground, shaking his head. “You idiot.”

I stare at the man who exposed me to Penelope, and the reality of my situation truly sinks in. Penelope sees me as what I am—what I’ve always been. The businessman who uses people, who lies and cheats and does whatever needs to be done to make a deal.

I saw another way of living when I was with her, but I didn’t realize I can’t just walk away from all this. I can’t ignore all the actions I’ve taken that have led me to this point. I can’t just walk away from the lies and omissions I’ve made.

I need to make it right. Somehow. I need to make amends.

My father looks confused when I tell him I’ll accept his offer. “You want the company?”

“It would be my honor,” I say through a clenched jaw.

“What about”—he waves a hand at the lobby outside his office—“Donovan, the leak, the merger? You didn’t seem happy about it.”

“I went to see Donovan, and I understand why he did it.”

“And why’s that?”

“He wanted to control the narrative of the merger. Wanted to make sure it didn’t look like a hostile takeover, wanted to assure his shareholders he was still in control. Might work out for the best in the long run. I was…” I clear my throat. “I was angry because I thought he was trying to wriggle out of the deal. He assured me he isn’t.”

My father nods, his eyebrows arching slightly. “Okay,” he finally says, nodding. “Let’s proceed. You still want to sit in this chair while I’m away?”

“I’d like nothing more.” Lie. Another lie. All I want to do is get out of that chair. I want to run back to Nord and drop to my knees in front of Penelope, begging for her forgiveness. I want to stop lying, never tell another lie as long as I live. I want to be the kind of man Penelope thought I was when she promised her life and child to me.

But there are things I need to do first. I need to prove to her that I’ve changed—all I did wasn’t to betray her. I’m not the man she thinks I am.

I’m still the man who followed her to Nord, the man who bared himself to her, the man who opened his heart and let himself feel love for the first time in his life. I’m the man she wants me to be. I just need to show her that in a way she understands.

So I sit in front of my father and accept the leadership of the company—however temporary it may be—with a bow of my head, as if he’s bestowing some great blessing on me. I ignore the twisting of my gut and I tell myself this is what needs to happen. This is how I atone for my sins, how I shed this skin and become the person I need to be.

25

Penelope

There’s a hole in my chest the size of the Arctic Ocean. I wander through the Stirling castle gardens, almost offended by the explosion of life and color around me. Summer is supposed to be the best time in Nord. It’s what we all live for after long months of cold and snow. This year, it feels stifling to me. Birds flit between trees as I make my way to a bench, lowering myself down to stare at nothing for minutes on end.

Asher lied about…everything.

Two birds sing to each other in call and response from opposite trees. I stare at the dark green branches, wishing it were December instead of August. There’d be no warmth, no greenery, no insects flying around. No delicate melodies from birds trying to woo each other.

There’d just be cold ice as far as the eye can see. Maybe then I’d feel comfortable. If the landscape matched the way I feel in my heart, I’d at least feel at home in my own kingdom. My own home. My own body.

This morning, the doctor told me my due date was the fourth of March. A spring baby, heralding the arrival of new life. A sign of the miracle that happened in my body—something I never thought possible. It’s fitting that the baby will arrive with all the other life in Nord, but it still doesn’t feel real.

Footsteps make me turn my head to see Silas approaching. Dark smudges mark his under-eyes, and he gives me a wry smile. “Hey, Pen.”

“You look rough.”

“That makes two of us.” Silas snorts, sinking down on the bench beside me. He lets out a long sigh, tilting his head up to soak up the sunlight. “I went to this gnarly party last night.”

“Gnarly?” I arch my brows. Is Silas even from the same family as me? The same decade?

He grins. “It was fun.”

“Doesn’t look fun this morning.”

“I’ll live.”

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