Page 58 of Ice Queen


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I make it to my bedroom, close the door, and crawl under my blankets. Only then, when I’m alone, do I let tears fall from my eyes.

Some time later, a knock on my door makes me lift my head. Frederick enters, keeping his eyes cast downward. He holds out a phone. “For you, ma’am.”

“Who is it?”

My secretary clears his throat. “It’s…Mr. Gerhard, ma’am.”

“Tell him to crawl into a hole and die.”

“As you wish.” Frederick bows and makes to exit the room, but I sit up.

“Wait. Give me the phone.”

My secretary’s eyes widen ever so slightly, mustache quivering—as much emotion as I’ve seen on his face in the decades he’s worked for me. He gulps, then closes the distance between us and hands me the phone. I wait until he’s out of the room before putting it to my ear.

“What.” Not a question. A demand. Tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to think about all this.

“Pen, I wanted to tell you.” Asher’s breathless.

“So you knew.” My voice sounds like someone else’s. It’s so cold, emotionless. Under a thick cap of snow and ice, my emotions rage and burn. My anger is muted, somehow, as if it’s too deep to unleash. If I let it break, it’ll ruin me.

But it’s there. My anger is there. Simmering, raging.

“Yes, I…I never meant to lie.” Asher’s voice sounds shredded, unlike I’ve ever heard it before. He sounds sorry, but I can’t…I just can’t bring myself to care.

“But you did.”

“I know, but you have to understand, Pen—”

“You lost the right to call me that when you lied to me, Mr. Gerhard. Tell me why I should ever speak to you again.”

“Our baby—”

“My baby.” I grip the phone tighter, my eyes narrowing. I wish he could see me right now. I wish he could look at my face and feel my fury. “This child is mine. You will never, ever see it. Everything we had, Asher, was built on lies. Everything you said to me is blowing in the wind, because I can’t trust anything that came out of your mouth. Do you actually care about me? About Nord? About anything other than your daddy’s fucking company?”

“I love you, Penelope.”

“Fuck. You.”

“Pen—”

“I’ll tell the public I saved some of Xavier’s sperm before he died. I’ll tell them it’s his child, and I’ll deny and dismiss any rumors you try to spread.”

“Penelope,” Asher’s voice cracks, and I almost, almost feel something. But my whole body feels cold and heavy, and it’s hard to move. My anger is slowly freezing my veins, making my blood run cold as my features slide into the old, familiar mask.

“Understand me, Asher,” I say quietly. “Whatever happened between us is over. It was over the moment you decided to lie to me at Gabriel’s wedding. It was over the moment you lied and told me you came to Nord to see me. It was over the moment you were too much of a coward to tell me the truth and own up to the consequences. Any affection I felt for you has crumbled to dust.”

A strangled noise comes over the phone. I ignore it.

“Crawley’s article said your father’s company was expected to pass to you. Is that what all this was about, Asher? Is that why you came to Nord? Why you used me for information and advancement?”

“I didn’t use you, Penelope. Everything we had was real.”

I laugh—a cold, humorless sound. “You don’t know the meaning of real, Asher. Goodbye.”

Holding the phone out for Frederick to take, I stare at the wall. I feel nothing. I’m…empty. My rage is so loud, but it’s cold. Like the wind whipping across a frozen lake in the dead of winter. A starless, moonless night that never ends.

I’m alone again. I was always alone—even with Asher.

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