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Grandma takes my face in her hands, holding me still. “You were not a burden, Rowan. You were a gift.”
“She would have been okay without me. She might have lived—”
“Stop it. You were the light of her life. You don’t know what would have happened if she hadn’t had you. Every time I called her, all she ever talked about was you. Your achievements. Your grades. Every time you scored a goal when you played soccer.”
“You don’t think that’s a burden?” My voice cracks. “Everything she did was for me. She died when she was just forty, Grandma, and she didn’t even know she was sick until it was too late. She was too busy taking care of me. Always me. Never herself.”
My grandmother intertwines her fingers around mine. She stares me in the eye, squeezing my hand. “It was not your fault your mother passed away, Rowan. Do you hear me?”
I sigh, looking away. Grandma jerks my hand until I meet her gaze.
“Do you understand?”
“I understand, but I’m just not sure I agree.” I push myself to my feet, giving Grandma a pinched smile. “I should let you get some rest. I’ve got work to do.”
“You’re more like your mother than you think,” my grandmother says, shaking her head. She closes her eyes to let me know the conversation is over, and I let out a deep sigh.
As I walk out of the room, my head spins. There’s only one thought that steadies me—the Prince. When I think of the way I felt when I was with him, the whole world seems to come into sharp focus. Nothing felt complicated when I was with him. Nothing felt difficult.
Yes, I’m still fighting my attraction to him. I know we have no future together, but these questions about who I am? About who my mother was? About what I really want out of life?
None of them matter when I’m with Wolfe.
Finding the card with the palace phone number in my purse, I take a deep breath and call. I try to put on my most professional voice as I request access to the office. They instruct me they’ll send a car right away, and I feel almost like royalty myself.
I glance down the hallway toward my grandmother’s room, and I try to push down the unease in my gut.
What if she’s right? What if all my work to be independent is for nothing? What if my mother didn’t see me as a burden at all? Her death wasn’t my fault, and I shouldn’t carry it on my conscience?
What if there’s more to life than just independence, and I’ve spent the last ten years chasing something meaningless?
As my stomach clenches, I make my way to the bathroom to take a shower, get my laptop and work things together, and I wait for the royal car to pick me up.
When we rollthrough the castle gates, my eyes travel up, and up, and up. This castle is much taller than the Summer Palace. It looks like it’s been stretched toward the sky, all towers and stone, with tall, spiked fencing encapsulating it. I glance at the multitude of windows, wondering which one belongs to the Prince.
Has he thought about me since he dropped me off? Has his world shifted as he wonders if his whole life has been a series of unfortunate decisions? Or is that just my sad self?
A footman opens the door for me as I thank the driver, and I’m led through the grand entrance and down a winding path to the back corner of the castle. The hallway is narrow and there aren’t quite so many paintings and chandeliers at this end of the castle.
The footman stops at a modest door, pushing it open and giving me a slight bow. “Your office, Miss Reed.”
“Thank you.” I smile at him before shifting my gaze past his shoulder and into the room.
It’s small, but it’s unlike any office I’ve ever had before. The walls are a soft cream color, with a rich red carpet below my feet. I smile, wondering if Wolfe chose this office for the color. My feet carry me to the window at the far end, which overlooks manicured lawns and fountains spraying tall jets of water—even with winter fast approaching. I lean my forehead against the cool glass, letting out a long sigh as I stare out at the richness below me.
I don’t belong here, but the least I can do is enjoy it while it lasts.
“Didn’t take you long to come back to work,” a rich voice says behind me. I turn to see Wolfe in the doorway, his shoulders brushing either side of the opening. He’s too big to exist in these spaces, but the sight of him filling the doorway makes a bud of heat unfurl in my stomach. I want those strong arms around me.
I gulp, forcing a smile. “The Summer Palace isn’t going to design itself.”
He steps inside, closing the door behind him. We’re alone. Again. Somehow, it feels more scandalous to be alone in this castle with him. At the Summer Palace, as the storm raged around us, it felt intimate. Here, in the capital, it feels like I should be on my best behavior.
The Prince walks toward me, not stopping until his hand sweeps over my hip. He wraps his arm around my back and pulls me close, pressing his chest against mine.
“I think you missed me,” he whispers, a grin teasing the edge of his lips.
“Of course you would think that.” I roll my eyes, but there’s no animosity in it.
Yes, I missed him. Yes, I came here hoping, in a hidden corner of my heart, that he’d come find me. Yes, my heart is fluttering at the thought of him doing just that.
But I’m not going to admit it.
As my gaze crawls up to meet his, the Prince’s smirk sends fire rushing through my veins. He doesn’t need me to say it, because he already knows.
I’m not here to work.
I’m here for him.
