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But it didn't stop there. Since night, things had changed even further, at least for me. I used to hold myself back, and now, I let my imagination run wild. I had also started tracking her cycle. Not because she was at risk of getting pregnant but because I had noticed in recent weeks how much her energy levels fluctuated.
I could also now claim to have a pretty accurate grasp of the things that mattered to her. Not just her books but also her favorite foods and all those little quirks that make her special. I learned how she demonstrates affection and what kind of support she needs from me. I know her preferences. Her needs. Her boundaries. Her desires and fantasies. I now knew her traumas, including those she hadn't yet openly admitted, and I was well on my way to making this relationship a safe place for both healing and growth.
Not just for her but for me as well.
I was far from perfect, and sometimes, even after ten years, I still thought that situations with Amelia could unfold just like they had with my ex-wife. Yet they were two entirely different people… and I had also become someone else.
Breaking old habits and behaviors was not always an easy task, but the previous day proved that it was possible.
As I wrapped my hands around the railing, a memory flashed before my eyes. That morning, when I had first made love to Amelia out here. It felt like ages ago, but it had only been weeks. A few weeks… and yet it couldn't have made it clearer how far we had come.
I heard the patio door slide open behind me, but I didn't turn around. Instead, I waited until Amelia's arms wrapped around my chest, and she snuggled up against me from behind. Her warmth seeped into every one of my cells and then spread throughout my entire body. Where our bare skin touched, I felt a slight electrical tingle, a sensation that nearly always accompanied our touches.
Even if I had wanted to suppress my grin, I wouldn't have been able to. "Did you have fun?"
She made a noise of agreement. "Manon suggested a sleepover, but I admit, the idea made me a bit nervous. I want you beside me every night."
Even though she'd likely had a glass or two of wine, it wasn't the wine talking.
"Why not follow me straight to bed then? We can continue this conversation there."
As if to underscore her point, she pressed her cheek tighter against my back. In her embrace, I turned around, scooped her up under her bottom, and lifted her effortlessly. "You can spend the rest of the night in my arms," I assured her as I carried her inside, closed the door behind us, and took her upstairs to the bedroom.
Less than five minutes later, we were under the covers together, Amelia snuggled close to me. "By the way, Manon has given her blessing," she told me, somewhat amused.
"Given her blessing?"
"Yes, she says I can keep you."
"How generous of her." My response came with a soft laugh. Still, it was oddly comforting to know that her best friend had no objections to our relationship.
"She'll be at the barbecue tomorrow. And… maybe we should have dinner together before she leaves. Wilder can join us too." Her yawn drowned out half of the sentence, so I pulled her even closer, kissed her crown, and kept quiet for the sake of her sleep.
34
AMELIA
“We should probably get going." Grinning, I looked at Gray before letting my gaze drift downward, very aware that he wasn't going anywhere at the moment.
He grimaced. "Very funny."
"Why don't you just think about something else?"
"Why didn't I think of that? What do you suggest?"
"Little baby goats."
My answer didn't seem to satisfy Gray. And it did nothing for his problem as his erection still pressed hard against his jeans. All I had done was touch his arm to point something out.
No sexual comments or innuendos had been made. Just a touch—and an innocent one at that.
I could barely contain my amusement. However, I found it less amusing when Gray pulled me close so that my back was against his chest.
"I have a much better idea," he whispered to me.
"We don't have the time," I reminded him. The barbecue was in full swing, and not just the guests were waiting for Gray to show up.
"Your mind's back in the gutter." Gray urged me toward the door. "You're just my cover."
