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“You’re sick in the head,” I tell him, half joking.
He grins at me. “I know that. And honestly, Eddie thought it was a brilliant idea too. I guess he thought you needed to grow up or something.”
“Grow up?!” I exclaim, fingers pressed into the table. A few people in the bar turn to look, then go back to their drinking.
“You don’t agree with that assessment?” he asks, taking a casual sip of beer.
My mouth opens, closes, and I’m hit with that sad realization that he’s right. I did need to grow up. And, obviously, I haven’t.
“So what happened with you and Laila?” he goes on. “Why did the both of you go from staring into each other’s eyes like Kate and Leo on the Titanic, to her telling you she’d never let go and pushing you off the floating door?”
“That’s quite the analogy.”
“I watched the movie last night. Anyway, did you break her heart again?”
Even though I deserve that and I know it’s true, my hackles go up. “What makes you think I did in the first place?”
“Just what Eddie told me. Well, Monica was more astute to that. Heartbreak is pretty obvious if you know what to look for.”
I look down at my beer, feeling a rush of shame.
“So you did,” Magnus muses. “May I ask what happened? Because Ella and I have a bet going on.”
“Ella knows?” Oh god, please don’t tell me that Lady Jane does too.
“She does. We talk about the two of you all the time. Lady Jane does as well, but that’s only because Laila confided in her.”
I run my hand down my face and make an anguished noise. “I can’t believe this.” How does everyone know? How is this possible? “What did Laila say to Lady Jane? Do you know?”
“Yeah, she said she was in love with you.”
The noise gets louder.
“Oh, bloody hell,” I cry out softly.
“Here, finish your beer and I’ll get you another,” Magnus says, pushing my glass under my face. He goes to the bar, and I stay where I am, stewing in the enormity of what he said while finishing the rest of the beer, as if it will drown my feelings.
Laila told Lady Jane that she loved me.
When? Before I nearly lost her, lost my balls, and fucked everything up? Or did she tell her afterward? Like, is it possible she still feels that way about me, even after all I did?
Magnus comes back with the beers and sits back down, sliding mine toward me.
“When did Laila tell Lady Jane?” I ask.
“I’m not sure.”
“Was it before or after…”
He raises a brow. “Before or after what, James?” he asks dryly.
“Before I fucked shit up with her for the second time.”
“And so what happened?” He gestures for me to continue. “How exactly did you fuck shit up this time?”
I exhale heavily and lean back in my seat, wiggling the tension out of my jaw. “I don’t know. I was just…it was the same as the time before. We had sex and it was emotional and…I freaked the fuck out.”
“And why did you freak the fuck out?”
