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Of course that was her first thought. She had a daughter too, and she was probably imagining what that would’ve been like for her girl.
“Devastated.” I had to look away. Letting that happen to Sage still haunted me. Hearing her crying about it being her fault, saying she’d be better, quieter, nicer if Andrea came back, had permanently scarred me. “It took a long time for me to convince her she hadn’t done anything wrong.”
Casual flings were easier. Nothing serious, no ties, nothing close to a relationship, and Sage didn’t get introduced to anyone. It wasn’t a risk I could take, and frankly, I hadn’t cared about anyone enough to be tempted.
With Clara, I was dancing a line I’d drawn for myself. This didn’t feel casual, but the thought of allowing her into my life with my daughter put so much pressure on my chest it was hard to breathe.
Clara’s pretty brown eyes went impossibly soft. “Poor Sage. With how friendly and open she is, I can see her getting attached quickly.”
I nodded, needing to make sure she understood. “So, you get me when I say I need to keep this separate from her.”
“I get you, Jake.”
“We managed well tonight, didn’t we?”
“We did. Luckily, I have Marina and won’t have to ask my parents to babysit. Well…if we’re doing this again, that is.”
“We are.” My foot nudged hers beneath the table. She didn’t pull away this time and propped hers on top. “Keeping me a secret from your parents?”
“I guess so. I’d rather not tell them I’m dating.” She wrinkled her nose. “They’ve been waiting for me to date since my divorce as if I don’t work fifty hours a week and have a small child at home.”
“You make it sound impossible, yet here you are.”
“Well”—her cheeks pinkened sweetly—“I wanted to be here, so I made it happen. I don’t want to sign up for dating apps or go on terrible blind dates.”
“Good thing you’re not going to be doing either of those while I’m in your life.”
She brought her milkshake to her lips. “Good thing.”
I cocked my head, sweeping my eyes over her. All I wanted was to join her on her side of the booth and feel her soft, warm body against mine. But this wasn’t bad. The talking. Listening to her confident, slightly husky voice. Hearing about her life.
“Your ex doesn’t see Nellie?”
Her entire body tensed at my question, her shoulders bunching around her ears. The lightness she’d carried since eagerly emerging from her house dimmed almost fully, and I wanted nothing more than to snatch the words out of the air and shove them back in my mouth.
“You really don’t know?” she rasped.
I slid my hand across the table to hold hers. “No, I don’t. I see I stepped in it by asking about him, and I’m sorry. If you don’t want to tell me, we can leave it at he’s not in her life—”
“He’s in prison. So, no, he doesn’t see Nellie. He never has.” She balled a napkin in her fist and wiped something invisible from the table. “Anyway, it’s getting late. We should probably go.”
She slid from the booth before I could wrap my head around what she’d said.
Fuck.
Clara dumped her milkshake in the trash and waited for me facing the exit, giving me her back. I followed her, tossing my trash and coming up behind her. She wasn’t asking me for anything, but my gut urged me to give her something anyway.
All I had was myself, so I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into the wall of my body. She was stiff for long seconds but didn’t fight me. I hugged her tighter and curled around her, resting my head on top of hers.
“I’m so fucking sorry for bringing that up,” I murmured into her hair. “I feel like I ruined something good—”
“No, it wasn’t you. It was him. Even locked up, he’s screwing me over.”
“The last couple minutes don’t take away the last couple hours.” I lowered my face to touch my lips to her temple. “I’ve never had a better date, and I haven’t even kissed you on your front porch yet.”
Her shiver vibrated through my bones, loosening my hold just enough for her to turn in my arms to face me. “You’re really good at this.” Her palms slid up my chest and neck to cup my cheeks. “I’m glad one of us knows what we’re doing.”
“Don’t worry, sweetness. You want me to lead, I will. I happen to really like being in control when you give it to me.”
