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After that, the vibe lightened. We were trading jokes when Jake stormed toward us, long strides eating the distance. Sage’s back was to him, so she missed her father’s tortured glare. It must’ve been the sound of her laughter that slowed his approach. His eyes met mine, and while his glare softened, the torture remained.
I had to hold on to the table to stop myself from going to him. He needed a hug, comfort, and it felt incredibly unnatural not to give that to him.
I interrupted Sage’s story. “Your dad’s here.”
She whirled around, and Jake tore his gaze from me to peer down at his daughter.
“Don’t be mad.” She balled her hands up under his chin, giving that same fluttery-eyed look she’d used on me earlier. “Please, Daddy.”
He chuffed. “Oh, I’m mad. Your mom and Mike are beside themselves. I can’t even begin to fathom what you were thinking, but we’re going to talk.”
Her head bowed. “Okay. I’m really sorry.”
The next moment, he grabbed her from her seat and pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight. His arms were shaking as he held her and murmured something I couldn’t hear against her head. I imagined he was telling her he loved her and that she’d shaved at least a decade off his life today.
I couldn’t tear my eyes off them—off him. I drank in the sight of him, wondering how I’d been able to go so long without seeing him.
Strangely, when Miller betrayed me, my love for him had shut off like a valve. One minute, it was streaming freely, and the next, it was cut off, the pipes dry as a bone. That wasn’t the case with Jake. I loved him now just as much as I had before I found out what he’d done.
Still, I couldn’t bring myself to stand or go to him. My feet were leaden with fear.
He took the choice out of my hands. Pulling back from Sage, he pointed her to a bench a good distance away and sternly ordered her to wait. Once she followed his orders, he closed in on me, taking the chair across from mine.
We stared and stared and stared. He had to be the one to speak first. My tongue was stuck to the roof of my dry mouth, and I couldn’t think of anything more than his eyes, his lips, his hands, the beating heart inside his warm chest. Plus, I was afraid if I said something now, it would come out wrong. Desperate. I would latch on to him, not because I had gotten over what he’d done, but because the last two weeks had been hell, and I couldn’t stand to let him walk away again.
“You made me a liar to my daughter, Clara.”
I jolted, surprised by his growl and what he’d said. “What do you mean?”
“I told her you’d never leave her in the dust like my ex, but you did. You left us both that way.” He pressed a hand to his head. “I don’t care about me. But that little girl is all I have, and she’s hurting. Isn’t today proof enough for you?”
“Jake, I—” I licked my impossibly dry lips. “I apologized to Sage, and from here on out, I’ll be there for her. I know I screwed up, but she and I made amends.”
“Good.” He nodded curtly. “If you want out of her life, you’ll need to do that with compassion.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want out of her life.”
He stared at me, his jaw working. “How’s that going to work? You hang out with my kid without seeing me? Let’s be real. I messed up badly, but I can’t continue paying for another man’s crimes.”
My eyes flared. “So that’s it? You’re giving up on me?”
His brow dipped in confusion. “Don’t you want me to?”
“No, I—” I sucked in a deep breath. “I was going to contact you tonight. I promised Bea and Shira I would. You’re right; we need to talk. I’ve wanted to talk to you since the moment you left my office, but I’m scared. Even now, sitting across from you.”
He shook his head. “You don’t have anything to be afraid of when it comes to me.”
My laugh was humorous. “I have everything to be afraid of. If this happens again…”
“It won’t.”
My eyes burned, which was just great. If I cried in the lobby of my office building, I would have to take early retirement.
“See? This is the part that’s scary, Jake. To get past this, I’ll have to take your word. And while every part of me is screaming for me to wrap my arms around you, I don’t know if I can trust myself. I don’t mean to make you pay for another man’s crimes. A lot of the time, it feels like I’m the one paying for them. Until you. It felt like I’d served my time, and I was free.”
His nostrils flared as he took me in. Remorse carved deep lines between his brows and tugged at the corners of his mouth. But his tenderness for me hadn’t been erased. It was there in the sweep of his icy blues and the way his hands slid across the table, stopping just before they reached mine.
“Then I went and threw you back behind those bars.”
