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“No. I—I need some time.”
He took my chin in his hand, turning me back toward him. “What kind of time?”
“I don’t know. Enough for me not to be so in the thick of this. My thoughts are too jumbled. I can’t sort them out.”
“We’ll sort it out together, Clara.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a hysterical laugh. “I can’t sort out my feelings for you with you. I need you to give me space to think about this. If you don’t give that to me and force me to answer you now, then we’re o—”
His hand slid up to cover my mouth. “No. Don’t say it. Those words don’t leave your mouth.”
I nodded, fresh tears slipping past my lashes. He swiped them away with his knuckles, so gentle and sweet.
Then, for the second time in a very short period, my office door swung open. It wasn’t Thomas on the other side, but Luca.
He took a second to assess the scene—me crying, Jake on his knees pleading—then sprang into action. Closing the distance between the door and my desk, he motioned for Jake to get up.
“You need to leave. I’m not having you in my building upsetting my sister.” Luca was a thundercloud, looming and dark. “Get up, Hayes.”
For his part, Jake barely acknowledged Luca, his attention focused on me. “I’ll give you some space, but you can’t go silent on me.” There was an edge of panic to his plea, and I understood it, but I couldn’t promise him anything right now. “The only way we get through this is if we keep talking to each other.”
Luca chuffed, his hand landing heavy on Jake’s shoulder. “Should’ve thought about that yesterday. Too late now.”
Ice melted in Jake’s gaze. “Tell me it’s not too late.”
Luca’s fingers dug in. “Get up and leave, or security will physically remove you.”
Finally, Jake rose, but he went slowly, like his bones were old and creaky. As soon as I was free of him, I spun away. I couldn’t bear watching him leave. Couldn’t bear that it might have been for the last time. I couldn’t have that in my memories.
I felt his presence, though. It lingered as my brother grumbled.
It took several long, drawn-out moments before Jake spoke with a clarity and sureness he hadn’t possessed until now. “I love you, Clara. To my bones.”
Of course it was that. A dagger to my brittle heart.
“Come on,” Luca said with a bit of softness. “Let’s go, Jake.”
After Jake’s heavy, plodding footsteps faded, the door clicked shut, and I was left alone with nothing but silence.
Chapter Forty-one
Jake
It was the silence that did me in.
I was a man who had never minded solitude, like those quiet weeks between having Sage home. Clara and Nellie had cured me of that. They’d filled my home and life with dancing and laughter. Passion, joy, and so much love. Now that it had nowhere to go, my chest was near bursting.
The week wore on, and I didn’t hear anything from Clara. No matter how many times I called and texted, I got nothing but silence in return.
I would’ve borrowed her words and said history was repeating itself, but nothing in my past compared to the stark absence of the love of my life and the little girl I’d been starting to think of as mine too.
Days of nothingness went by. I didn’t go into the office. Instead, I spent time in MZ’s garages, losing myself in fixing cars since I couldn’t fix what I wanted to.
I was giving Jeremy as much silence as I’d been getting from Clara. I’d seen the news stories. MZ came out strong in denouncing Dallas Fox, but we were still mentioned every time a story ran about him.
Jeremy had to be having a hell of a time, but I couldn’t find it in me to want to help. He’d asked for too much from me. I’d known it. He had too. And he’d done it anyway.
I was the idiot for giving in to him.
