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8:40pm Lettie: I see that you do. Five days and you have a girlfriend.
Why am I hesitating to respond and ask what the fuck she’s talking about? Down deep, I know I can’t destroy Lettie’s aspirations of becoming an Olympian. I should call Lettie and explain that she’s the only one I love, but she’s the one who broke up with me, so maybe as much as I hate to admit it, my father could be right.
Some girl named Piper comes up and asks for a selfie, puts her arm around me, and snaps the picture. Before long, I’m surrounded by girls who can’t hold a candle to Lettie, but we’re doing shots, and they take more pictures.
Reed and Hagan show up. They separate the ladies and since they’re handsome guys, the girls hit on them too. Great, I can’t hold onto anyone.
“Eleven, it’s time to go,” Reed says, using my jersey number instead of my name. Guys do those things. Last names. Numbers.
“Do you know why my jersey number is eleven? My fucking father.” I stumble, so Reed puts his arm under my arm, and they carry me out. Hagan assists on the other side. “He doesn’t deserve for me to wear his number.
“Why did Lettie break up with me? Tell me you bastards,” I slur as my head drops into my chest, which hurts so fucking bad. The two people I love most in the world betrayed me.
The last thing I remember is Hagan saying, “This isn’t the way to win her back.”
Chapter Forty-One
LETTIE
“Where’s my firecracker, Lettie?” Brooke asks as we sit on their back porch. Caleb is in kindergarten, so he’s at school, and Brooke doesn’t have ballet classes today. Reed is doing what athletes do—run, lift weights, practice, and watch film. “Just call him and get back together. Based on how he acted last week when Reed and Hagan picked him up from the bar, he’s as miserable as you are.”
I can’t tell Brooke about Dane’s dad guilt tripping me into breaking up with Dane. I saw his point at the time, but now I feel like a fool. Breaking up has only made both of us worse. Secrets are the worst—you want to tell everyone, but you can’t.
“Not miserable enough to stay away from the campus jersey chasers. Not as miserable as me with his hands on Daisy and her lips on his cheeks. And on the same day he finally sends me our good morning text.”
We chew on that. Dane seems like he’s been out every night and from what I see on social media, partying hard. More than he ever did. I can’t believe I broke up with him. It’s my fault for falling in love with my best friend this late in the game. If we would have declared our feelings two years ago, we would have already figured out how to be together and have everything else.
Brooke considers my words and perks up. “Are you two still singing at Hagan and Adalee’s wedding?”
I shrug. “I haven’t thought about it. I feel like we have to, but I don’t know if I can be in the same place as Dane without having a complete breakdown.”
Brooke group texts Hagan and Adalee for them to ask Dane.
Adalee: He’s actually here. Hagan had to pick him up again last night. His teammates are done.
Brooke holds out the phone for me to read. My fingers cover my mouth. He’s right next door, and this is a side of Dane I’ve never seen. He’s always been in control. Always had everything figured out.
Brooke asks, “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to get him, and you can talk here in private?”
“No.” I shake my head vigorously. “Just ask them to see if he still wants to sing with me at the wedding.
Brooke: Has Dane said if he still wants to sing at the wedding?
It takes a few minutes, but we finally get a response.
Adalee: Yes.
Brooke: Is that all?
Adalee: That’s all he said.
A wave of pain hits me, and I cry. “Brooke, do you think we can find our way back to being friends.”
“Oh sweetie, I know you will. I told you he had googly eyes for you all of last year, but you insisted he didn’t. Now we know he was completely in love with you and still is.”
“If he loved me, why hasn’t he fought for me? Since the night I broke it off, he hasn’t tried. One day of texts. I get it, I hurt him. He doesn’t know how bad this is hurting me. I can’t eat or sleep. My stomach is always one swallow away from throwing up. Diamond Mine senses something different, and we’re not in sync. It’s a clusterfuck. Jasper is ticked. We spent so much time on my form and correcting all the little things. Now I can barely straighten my spine.”
Dane’s been my best friend since we were six. Damn him for saying nothing changes when we knew everything changed. We can’t go back to that place before we had made love. We just can’t. What am I supposed to do with all the memories?
