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Me: Dev, I’m in Florida. Lettie competes tomorrow. I’ll be back Sunday.
Devon: Damn, you need to tell Coach. He’s pretty ticked that you’re off the grid.
Me: I’ll send him a message.
Devon: I don’t envy you when you get back.
Me: She’s worth any punishment I get.
Devon: She’s a good one. Glad you finally got your head out of your ass. Tell her good luck for me and the team.
Devon’s right, if I want to have it all then I need to communicate with my coach.
Me: Coach, sorry I missed practice but it’s better now than later. Not sure you would understand my reasoning because Lettie isn’t just some girl. She’s my girlfriend, my best friend of sixteen years and she’s supported me every step of the way. Now it’s my turn to support her. I’ll take my punishment when I get back.
Coach: Entitled is not what I expected from you. I thought you were different from your father.
His words roll around in my head like a marble roller coaster. I want to ask what happened between my father and him, but now isn’t the time.
Me: I understand that you’re angry, but I put up five-hundred shots a day at a minimum and work harder than most of the guys combined. I won’t miss again.
My coach doesn’t reply.
The stands are dotted with spectators, friends and family like me, watching as the horse and riders walk into the arena two at a time. Several pairs walk around the edges and then take a few trial runs before Lettie and Diamond Mine prance through the gate.
I don’t need my binoculars to see the horse and gorgeous rider who grew up with me.
Wanting to see every facial expression she makes as she takes in the course, I pull the magnifying lenses up to my eyes, scanning until the focus lands on her. She intakes a deep breath and blows out those peachy pink lips. Ruining my moment, Jasper saunters beside her and squeezes her thigh, speaking to her.
Why is he touching my girl like that? That’s my leg to squeeze.
She shakes her head in the affirmative, giving him a quick glance, and he retreats behind the wall to watch. Lettie walks Diamond Mine through the course two times, not doing any of the obstacles, talking to her horse the entire time.
I can read her lips. “Here’s the combination jump. We’re going to jump the vertical, then we’ll only have two strides before the next one.” She’s always talked to herself aloud, and I always loved how I could get those small snippets into how her mind worked internally.
Jasper whistles, and Lettie advances to the wall to get last-minute coaching. I can’t see his face. Hopefully, he’s not saying, “Squeeze those legs like you’re going to squeeze me tonight.”
If anyone will be the recipient of her legs squeezing together, it will be as she screams my name. I’ve never truly felt threatened by anyone until Jasper. It’s unreasonable. He’s her coach and a good ten years her senior.
Diamond Mine and Lettie take their starting position. A sound blows, indicating her start. They move through the course. They get through the first three jumps, but Diamond Mine slows down after knocking over the top railing on the vertical obstacle.
At the end, Lettie pats her horse’s neck and whispers something in his ear[JD1] . Finally, she notices me in the stands, and a grin spreads across her face. I nod, smiling like a fool in love. I decide at that moment, I’m telling her I love her, not as a best friend, but as a man lucky enough to be in love with his best friend. I knock my fist against my heart and utter, “You can do it.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
LETTIE
Jasper insists on a private yoga class at our hotel. I told Dane I would be back, and we could go to dinner at about six, and it’s already five. When I get to the room to change into workout clothes, he’s not here, so I shoot him a text and head to the yoga spot.
The yoga instructor hands me a mat that I lay on the grassy ground in the atrium. Tomorrow is the biggest equestrian competition of my life until the next one, each building on the other. I feel my nerves getting the best of me, so I draw in a deep inhale and blow it out, slow and controlled.
My performance is important, not only for me but for my horse who has been training tirelessly by my side. That's why I agreed to take a private yoga session this afternoon, to calm my mind and focus on believing in myself and my horse. Dane has always been the calm in my storm, but this feels good too.
As I follow the instructor's soothing voice and flow through each pose, my anxieties slowly fade like the afternoon sun. The gentle stretching and focusing on making my muscles long help me find my balance. Dane has always been my balance, especially when not taking my meds. But I know that tomorrow, as I ride through the course, I’ll carry this calmness I’ve found with me. And I’ll transfer my confidence to Diamond Mine. With my horse by my side, I’m ready to face any challenge that comes our way.
When I’m done, I message Jasper.
Thanks, the yoga class was just what I needed.
