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“This is crazy shit. You look just like her.” Cody studies her, his eyes roam her body.
She plasters a fake smile on her face. “So it seems.”
“Sorry.” He winces, looking around for Reed, running his hand over his beard. “Hey Reedster, you ready to go?”
After they leave, the awkward silence between us is becoming our norm. The sun casts down on her from the window she’s staring out of. We have a son together. It’s hard to believe a baby survived the crash.
I finally break the silence. “The whole town would’ve known Reed was mine, didn’t they say anything?”
Without turning, she replies, “I never went back to Barrow. When we left Arizona, my parents bought us a house in Sweetwater. They wanted me to be close, but thought I wouldn’t want to deal with everyone recognizing me and me still not remembering them. To be honest, I was happy they did that.”
Her dad thought of everything to keep me from them. “Everly, why are you here?” She twists around, leaning against the wall. I chuckle when she clears her throat. “Some things never change.” Her brows furrow in confusion. “You’ve always cleared your throat when you’re nervous.”
“You still know me so well.”
I shake my head. “No, you’ve changed. I have too. We’re not teenagers in love where life is simple anymore.”
“You said you loved me.” She steps toward me and I stand still, a sour taste in my mouth as guilt is consuming me for what I’m about to say. I've thought a lot about this in the last forty-eight hours. “I want us to be a family. Reed deserves to have a relationship with you and we deserve to be together after they ripped us apart.”
I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. “You’re right. Reed deserves to know me and we deserve to be happy after being lied to for so long.” Sweat rolls down my spine, the words heavy in my throat. “But not with each other.” I reach for her, but she takes a step backward, shaking her head. Her eyes gloss over and it kills me to see she’s hurting. Because of me.
“Did you tell her you kissed me?”
My eyes snap to hers. “Jesus Christ, Everly. No.” I pace the room wondering why she’s bringing that up. I had a moment of confusion. Who can blame me? But will Ellie understand? I groan in frustration. “She won’t speak to me now, so I haven’t had a chance.”
Her hand stops me as I pass her. “Kase, I’m here. I’m willing to fight for you. Can you say the same for her?”
I let out a sarcastic laugh. “So much for sisterly love.”
She releases my arm, cocking her hip out, her expression hardening. “I’m not giving you up for her. We have a son together.”
“If everyone would stop throwing that in my face, I'd appreciate it. The guilt of not being there is heavy enough.” We're going around in circles and I need liquor to keep going. I offer her a beer and she shakes her head. Is she not drinking because of Reed? Should I not either? Memories of my dad and his constant drunken state flood my mind. “I don’t drink a lot,” I declare, my voice raising as I put the beer back in the fridge.
“Kase, you’re not your dad.” Her face softens, and she joins me in the kitchen.
She sighs. “Actually, I would like one.”
Taking two beers out, I hand her one and she leans against the opposite counter. Dirty dishes fill the sink where it’s usually spotless. My gaze darts around the unkept apartment. Here’s to great impressions, I cheer to myself and swallow a gulp of beer.
“Sorry my place is a mess. It’s not normally like this. Shit, I’m sorry for a lot of things.”
“Me too. I shouldn’t have come.” She pulls the bottle to her lips and our gazes stay fixed on each other. I wonder if we found each other before I met Ellie if we would’ve worked. When we were in the hotel, her gasp when I picked her up is what reminded me I wasn’t with Ellie. I’m rough around the edges and she’s used to sweet. I’m sure Wayne treats her like a princess. “I’m… also sorry about your dad.” Her voice breaks. “Wayne explained everything before I left.”
I shrug, already having come to terms that he’s dead. I huge weight was lifted when I learned it wasn't me. “Thanks. I’m sorry to hear about your dad.”
She picks at the label on her beer and laughs without humor. “No, you’re not.”
“I’m sorry for you. You loved him.”
“Had I known what he did, I would’ve never forgiven him.” She takes two steps toward me and puts her hand on mine. I squeeze it, knowing she needs affirmation that I forgive her, though none of this is her fault. The clinking noise of the beer bottle on the counter echoes in the quiet room when I put it down. I pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her thin frame. Her body shakes as she cries.
The weight of her tears lay heavy on my heart. Regret just adds more weight, suffocating the one organ that keeps me alive. It’s hard to breathe. I don’t want to hurt her. I tighten my hold, memories replay in my head of the last time she cried in my arms. Her dog escaped and was hit by a car when we were seventeen. He died immediately. I had wished I could take all her pain away so she wouldn’t have to bear it. I wish that now I wasn’t the one causing it. Instead, I let her have her release. It's goodbye to a teenage love, ripped apart too soon.
She steps out of my hold, sniffs and wipes the tears from her cheeks. “Thank you,” she whispers. “We should probably get going.”
“Wait.” I reach for her. “Can you guys stay awhile? I want to…” How can I say this without sounding like an asshole?
She bites back a smile. “You want Reed to stay. I get it.”
