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The raw pain in his voice kills me. I stare at the man who owns part of my heart. No matter how hard I’ve tried to take it back, I can’t. But I also can’t forgive him. Not yet. I nod and sigh. “I’m doing it tonight.”
“No matter what happens, I’ll still be here waiting for you.”
“Wayne–”
“No,” he holds up a finger. “I’ve let you have your space to figure out what’s going on in your head. I kinda understand. But I need to have my say before you leave.” As he takes a step toward me, I wrap my arms around my waist. The barrier I put between us, I'm not sure if I’m doing it to push him away or to keep me from breaking down and running back to him. “I didn’t lie to you to make you fall in love with me. I came to you as a friend. We both fell in love. I may have lied about Reed and our relationship after the fact, but I never coerced you into falling in love with me. That was real.” Tears escape my eyes watching him plead for our love. “Our love wasn’t a ten-year-old crush or high school sweetheart…” He chokes on his emotions. Clearing his throat, he continues, “You’ve loved me longer than you did him. How can you throw this away for someone you loved over ten years ago?”
“It’s not ten years to me. To my heart.” I place my hand on my heart. How else do I explain it? The love I have for Kase, it’s alive inside me. It’s like my heart was jump-started with the love we shared. The problem was my heart was beating already, filled with Wayne’s love. I’m in love with two men and I can't differentiate who it beats for louder. I need to find out.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Kase
She won’t answer my calls. I’ve been home two days and it’s radio silence. Tori told me to give her some time. If I give her too much time, she’ll make a decision without including me. I can’t prove to her that my soul belongs to her if I can’t see her.
Max instructed me to take a few more days off to figure my shit out. I’m not sure a few months is enough time to figure anything out. Being off only gives me more time to wallow in my convoluted life at the moment. I stare at the white ceiling, recalling the last few days. The cushions from the couch are sagging having no reprieve from my heavy body. The phone is within reach on the coffee table. I check it every half hour on the dot and then call her every hour. I’ve stopped leaving long winded messages. She’ll answer when she’s ready or tired of me blowing up her phone.
I jump off the couch like I was shocked at a knock at the door. It’s a woman’s knock. She’s here. I’m at the door in three long strides, opening it with such urgency I’m surprised I don’t rip the door off the hinges. I freeze at the sight. My eyes see what my heart doesn’t. It needs a second to catch up, to understand it’s not her.
“Everly, what are you doing here?”
She glances away from my confused expression, extending her arm to the side of the door. Reed steps into my line of sight. He gives me a lopsided grin. Oh, buddy, you’re like a beacon in the night. If anything is truth right now, it’s you. You are my son. “Hey, big guy.”
“Hey, Kase.”
I stare at him still amazed I helped create him. Everly clears her throat pulling me out of my trance. “Oh, come in.” I widen the door. They walk in and Reed runs to the windows.
“Epic,” he exclaims, staring out at the ocean. He whips around. “Can we go to the beach? I’ve never been!”
I open my mouth to answer yes, but then snap it shut and glance at Everly. “We’ll go after a while,” she replies. “We should talk first.”
Reed walks up and I watch him closely. “I know you’re my dad.” The earth just shook beneath my feet, knocking me backward against the arm of the couch. He states it matter of fact, no question… just affirmation.
“Way to start a conversation, Reed,” Everly says, her voice full of sarcasm.
He shrugs. “Just trying to move this along so we can go to the beach.” Everly gives him the look only a mom can give. “What? He already knows, it’s not like I told ‘em a secret.”
He’s awesome. Leave out all the bullshit that doesn’t matter. He’s definitely mine.
“How do you feel about that?” I manage, unclogging the surprise lodged in my throat. He leans his weight from foot to foot, gripping the hem of his shirt.
“It’s a little weird. My mom told me you didn’t have a clue, so I’m not mad at you.” His eyes jump to his mom every few words searching for silent confirmation.
“I didn’t. But had I known, I would’ve been a part of your life. And I’d like to be a part of it now.”
His little head nods. “You seem like you’d be a cool dad.”
“I’d be the coolest.”
Better than Wayne for sure.
Everly blows out a soft sigh, her eyes cast down. She walks over to the windows and gazes out. There are so many things we need to talk about. I grab my phone off the coffee table and call Cody. Having him take Reed to the pool will give Everly and I a chance to talk.
“The pool?” Reed drops his arms in disappointment.
“I’ll bring you to the beach this afternoon.” I missed all his firsts, I want this one.
Cody shows up a few minutes later and Everly’s eyes widen at the huge burley guy with tatts all over. She peeks at me, fear in her eyes. I smirk at her reaction before introducing the two. Cody is a guy I trust with my life, he won’t let anything happen to Reed.
