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I’m cleaning the back of the bar when I hear someone behind me. “Last call was a half hour ago,” I snap over my shoulder.
“Ell, I don’t need a drink.” I roll my eyes at the sound of Cody’s voice. Turning around, I lean against the bar and cross my arms.
“Then why are you here?”
“You’re about as snippy as he is.” I grit my teeth and glare at him. “Talk to him, Ell.”
I throw my rag on the bar. “Don’t you think I’ve tried? Kase won’t talk to me.”
He pulls in a deep inhale, letting it out harshly. “He’s at home right now. There’s a lot going on in his head he needs to work through, but I can promise it’s not you he has to figure out.” Shaking my head, I stare up past him in an unfocused gaze. “Hey, I’m not saying it’ll work out. But you two should talk before you decide it’s over.”
I let out an irritated huff. “I have all the bullshit I can handle in my life, I’m not sure I can add more to it.”
His eyes soften and one side of his lip turns up and I’m surprised by a look of understanding. Have they looked into my past? “Maybe you guys can help clean up some of each other’s bullshit.” He winks and turns, walking away. My mind reels, my past and present colliding and trying to read into what he said all at the same time. I have to breathe through the panic rising inside me.
Tori walks behind the bar, carrying clean bar mats. “Tor, you never mentioned my past to anyone, right?”
“No. I’d never. Why?”
“I got a strange feeling about something Cody said. It’s probably nothing. Anyway, he told me to talk to Kase, that he’s at home right now.”
“What’re you going to do?”
I shrug, grabbing the towel and running it under the cold water.
“You should go. It’s better to find out now what is going on then let this drag out. You’re miserable, but at least you’ll have closure.”
“Well, that sounds enticing, I’m screwed either way. This is all your fault.” Her mouth gapes open as I pull her in for a hug. “Thanks for being here for me, always.”
It’s not her fault my heart beats wildly for the man.
I pound on the door a second time, not giving two fucks it’s two in the morning. “Kase, open the door. I know you’re in there. I’ll get louder, then you’ll have to deal with me and the police.”
The click of the lock makes me stand tall. Readying myself for a bitch fest. The door opens and Kase grips it like it’s holding him up. My ‘you’ve messed with the wrong girl’ expression morphs into worry. He looks like shit. His hair is tussled, standing on its ends, his face dons at least three days worth of growth and the bags under his eyes tell me he hasn’t been sleeping.
His pathetic glance before he turns and walks in, leaving me in the hallway, makes me question everything. I step in, quietly shutting the door behind me. He’s sitting on his couch, slumped back against the cushions, his arms behind his head and eyes closed. One would think he’s relaxed, except his whole body is tense.
“Hey,” I whisper. No response ticks me off a little. He needs to be a part of this conversation. “Kase, don’t ghost me.”
His eyes lazily open and he lets out a sarcastic laugh. “That’s funny. That’s what I was trained to do. It’s an art I’ve perfected.” I furrow my brows together, not understanding. I awkwardly stand there with my arms hanging, our eyes pinned on each other. Shifting from foot to foot, I wait for him to explain. “You’re nervous. Why? Are you afraid of me?”
“No.” I still my movements. “I’m nervous because I thought we had a thing, and now I’m not sure where we stand because you won’t talk to me.”
He runs his hands through his hair. “I’m not good enough for you, Ellie.”
He’s all wrong. “How do you figure? You’re a strong, passionate, loyal man. Not including the last five days, you’ve treated me with respect. So, please tell me where in that equation is not good enough.”
“Respect? Was I respecting you when I was fucking you like any other woman?”
Ouch. The sting of tears threaten, but I blink them back. He sits forward, leaning on his knees, staring up at me like he’s waiting for me to react. He’s trying to push me away.
“Am I like all those women to you?”
If he says yes, we’re done.
His head drops between his shoulders and I release the breath I was holding knowing he can’t. “No,” he murmurs. “But I have a past that puts you in danger. I hurt you the other night, I can’t forget that.”
I bite my lip to stifle my laugh at the irony of the situation. If he only knew my past. Tell him, my subconscious whispers. No, I reply. Turning my attention to Kase instead of the internal conversation I’m having with myself, I say, “Kase, I wouldn’t stay with a man who abused me. Ever. But even I can see the difference here.”
