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Tell her. I’m your past.
I’m her future.
I fight with my subconscious. How can I tell her I’m her past with what she admitted? What’s important is what we have now and I'll be damned if I ruin that. She’s not ready to hear what I’m hiding. She doesn’t need to know it’s me she’s running from.
I pull her into a hug. “We’re all running from something, Ellie. Running’s usually easier with a partner. I'm just sayin' I'm here if you need me.”
She sniffs, her head rests on my shoulder. “Thank you, Cowboy.”
Chapter Nineteen
Ellie
“Hey dad,” I say into the phone.
I remember a time when that felt foreign to say. It wasn’t forced, just not natural. Now, it would be weird calling him by his name.
“Hi sweetie, how’s it going?” I love hearing his gruff voice. I don’t hear it enough. We talk for a few minutes about school and work. I can always sense the relief in his voice as I chat about my life.
“I met a guy,” I say, hesitantly and bite the inside of my cheek waiting for his reaction. I didn’t mention Kase last month because we had only been on one date. But it’s different now. I like him. A lot. The line stays silent and I wonder if I lost connection. “Dad?”
“I’m here. What’s his name?” he asks, his voice curt.
I release an awkward chuckle. “No. I’m not giving you his name. You’ll find something on him, even though it’s nothing, and make a big deal about it. He’s a great guy.” Being retired from law enforcement doesn’t prevent him from poking and prodding.
“That’s what they all say.” I shake my head and sigh, knowing he wouldn’t be happy. “I worry about you. You’ve been through so much and have come so far, I just…” He pauses, sighing. “ I want the best for you.”
“And I love you for that. Okay, here’s a little for you. He recently got out of the military and he’s working for Max.” This will put him at ease. When he found out about Max’s team, and how I was friends with them, he acted more relaxed. He’ll probably figure out who he is now with just a little digging.
“I should come out and meet him.”
We both know that won't happen. “I wish you could, but it’s not safe.” Having almost died, moving on with my life should have been the easy part. Nothing about my life is easy. But Kase makes me forget and believe there is hope for me yet.
“I understand that better than anyone.” His beard scrapes against the receiver as he blows out a breath. “I love you, sweetheart. Be careful. I have to go feed the animals.”
“Always. Love you too, Dad.”
I hold the phone to my chest. Our once a month chat isn’t enough. Someday, it’ll be different. Not being able to change the situation, I swallow my emotions and tuck the emergency phone back into my sock drawer. It would be awesome if Kase could meet my dad. They’d get along great. I shake the thought from my head. Don’t do this to yourself. It’s not a realistic dream. Dating Kase complicates matters, except I can’t seem to stop. The other day should have been a wakeup call that I’m not safe anywhere, even if Kase’s friend mistakenly thought he knew me. What happens when it’s not a mistake? I guess I'll deal with that when and if it comes.
“Time for a trip to the store,” I say to myself as I stare into the empty fridge.
Pulling out my list as I push the buggy through the automatic doors, I plan which end I should start at. Ice cream isn’t on it so I’ll start at the produce side. The bright yellow bananas grab my attention first so I scan for the perfect cluster; not too green or too ripe and no bruising. A cart stops next to mine, so close I’ll need to back up to move around them. I look over with an annoyed expression because seriously people, there are things called space.
My scowl turns upward when I meet Kase’s eyes. His gorgeous smile makes my knees weak. Desire to step into his arms and have him kiss the ever-loving hell out of me like he did a couple of weeks ago has me blushing. The way butterflies flutter in my belly whenever we talk is unnerving. Is this what love at first sight feels like? Both our schedules have been busy, which is good because I find myself wanting to be around him all the time. Albeit, my drunken night where I almost confessed everything, we’ve only talked on the phone since then. Surprisingly, he hasn’t brought it up. Maybe it was enough of an explanation he won't push further.
“Of all the grocery stores, you had to walk into this one.” He winks. “It must be fate.”
I can’t help the smile on my face. “Considering it’s the only one around here, chances were in our favor.”
“Shh. Don’t ruin my moment.” Pinching my lips together, I stifle my laugh. Two women stroll by us, their gaze appraising Kase’s body. Yet, his attention never leaves me. Who could blame them, he exudes sex, not even trying. Board shorts hang low on his hips, a white V-neck shirt hugging his thick arms and his hair mussed on top like he ran his hands through wet hair, letting it air dry.
“Did you go for a swim?”
“I did. I would’ve invited you, but you’re afraid of water,” he teases.
I swat at him. “I am not.”
“Next time, you’re coming then.”
