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None of this is her fault.
“Sweetheart, I don’t know what in the world you could be sorry about.”
“I should have … we should have talked before I told everyone.” She sighs. “I didn’t even think how you might be feeling about everything.”
God, I love this woman. After all she’s been though, she’s worried about how I feel? I shake my head in astonishment. Walking up to her, I grab hold of her hips, lifting her up. She naturally wraps her legs around me, but her eyes go big in surprise. I walk toward our room. Jax and Ryker stop us before we disappear into the room.
“We’re out of here,” Ryker says down the hallway.
I glance their direction. “You guys staying in town?” They both nod. “Come back tomorrow for lunch. We’re going to barbeque.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Addison looking at me.
“We’ll be here,” Jax says as he salutes goodbye.
I take Addison into the room, shutting the door with my foot. I sit down on the bed, still holding her so now she’s straddling me. She struggles to get loose, but I hold her hips tighter.
“No.”
She looks at me, her brows knitted together. “We’re going to talk. And I don’t want any space between us.”
Her lips curl up, and I sneak a quick kiss. I can’t look at her lips and not want to devour them, so hopefully this will hold me over for now.
“I feel like an ass,” I admit. “The last thing I want is for you to worry about how I feel.”
She rolls her eyes. “How can I fucking not?” she says, repeating my words earlier with a pointed brow. She runs her hands up my arms. “How we’re linked together is why we found each other, but I feel we can’t move forward until we both let go of the choices our parents made. I have. I need you to. For me. For us.”
“I thought I had until I heard you talk tonight. Then the feelings of guilt slammed into me like hitting a brick wall.”
“I don’t and have never blamed you. It wasn’t because of you that I went to Chicago. I can easily say if I hadn’t made that one choice to not find out who Travis was, I would’ve never been kidnapped or raped.”
I loathe that my first thought is that she wouldn’t have met me either. How selfish can I be? Doubt creeps up as I wonder if she regrets going to Chicago. I tense.
Her hands palm my jaw. “Stop,” she pleads, pulling me from my thoughts. She rests her forehead against mine. “I can see it in your eyes that you’re questioning things. Why? Why now? You’ve been chasing me for almost a year. Telling me to stop running. I finally say forever and now you’re questioning things?” Tears fill her eyes.
I go to pick her up and push her aside, needing to walk around, but she squeezes her hips tight. When I find her eyes she says, “No. No space.”
I chuckle softly and nod in resignation. “You have to wish that you’d never gone to Chicago.” It’s painful to say.
She bites her lip, letting it slip out. “We would have met eventually. I was still moving to New York City … We would have still worked together. So, if I knew that we could have been together without Chicago, then yes, I’d wish that I had never gone.” Her eyes reflect a flood of emotions as she continues. “But I also believe that I was put on that course for a reason. We can’t rewrite history, Aiden. There are too many unknowns. If I had never met you in Chicago, my heart wouldn’t have belonged to someone else when I first moved to New York. I might have ended up with Dave before I ever met you.”
She smiles. I cringe at the thought. Bastard still reminds me he almost had her first. “Very funny. When you put it that way …”
“I don’t regret you,” she says, wrapping her arms around my neck. She spreads soft kisses over my face. When her mouth lands on my lips, I pull her bottom lip and suck on it. I deepen the kiss, coaxing a moan out of her. Her taste, her sounds, her feel is something that I’ll never get enough of. She’s intoxicating and addicting. I move my hands up, rounding over her beautiful ass, and tug her closer to me.
I want her wrapped around my dick. I want to be so deep inside her that we’re connected. We’re one. But I’ll wait until she’s ready. And it definitely won’t be here with people in the house. I need her to be able to lose all abandon. Let go.
But when she grinds her pussy against my painfully hard dick, it’s becoming painfully difficult to think with the right head.
“I can’t believe you did that!” Syd’s voice comes from the next room. Max’s room. We both freeze and stare at the wall like we’re going to be able to see something. Addison looks back to me.
“I figured it’d come out eventually. She was being too quiet.” She chuckles.
“I’m still freezing because of–”
The sound of someone being pushed against the door echoes in our room and cuts off Syd’s yelling. Addison gasps, covering her mouth.
“Do you think …” she whispers, her eyes wide. We both lean a little toward the wall as we listen intently. At first there aren’t any sounds. When I hear Max growl, it’s obvious.
Addison shakes her head. “No. No, no, no,” she says, trying to get off me.
