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“I’m just …” I twist my lips, turning to look at Aiden. “Never mind,” I say, shaking my head. I don’t even know what to think.
I grab the jumpsuit out of Aiden’s hand. Max walks by me, suited up already.
“I’ll be outside with Tink. I need to go over everything with her and get her harness on.” Max’s playfulness is gone. He’s all business now. This is the side I’m used to.
“Why do you insist on calling her Tink?”
He shrugs. “Why not?”
“Really?” I say, my brows furrow. “Maybe for one, it pisses her off.”
“No, when I call her little girl … that pisses her off.” Max chuckles, walking out the door.
I whip around to Aiden. “When did he call–”
My words are cut off by Aiden’s lips pressed to mine. Naturally, I fall into him. I let him explore my mouth with his tongue as our kiss deepens. He bites my lip before pulling back.
“Don’t worry about them. Syd can handle Max, I promise.” He leans his forehead on mine.
I sigh. “If you say so.”
“I do. Now hurry up so I can get you into the sky.” He reaches around and slaps my ass then grabs a handful. “God, I love this ass.” A low growl erupts from his lips as he gives me a quick peck.
“This ass is mine.” My body freezes as my mind takes me back to my hell. “I bet Aiden never had this ass, but I will. I will own this virgin asshole.” The stench of cigarette smoke and the pain as he forces his fingers in me have me gasping for air.
“No!” I scream out. Fight, Addison. “Get the fuck off me!” I push off, fighting to escape the pain.
“Addison!” Aiden’s voice commands, grabbing my arms and wrapping himself around me tightly. When I pry my eyes open, the smell and the pain is gone, but the memory is right in front of me. My body is shaking so badly I’m lightheaded.
“I need to sit down,” I whisper. Instead, Aiden squeezes tighter.
Max and Sydney are standing in the doorway, staring at me, concern in their eyes. I want to close mine out of embarrassment, but I’m afraid of who will be waiting for me behind the darkness. I fight back the tears, but I don’t have enough strength. They fall freely down my cheeks. I bury my face into Aiden’s chest. Both our chests rise and fall with heavy breaths.
“I’m so sorry, Addison.” Aiden’s voice hitches.
Guilt spreads through me like a raging inferno. My tears break into waterfalls. Just when I think the memories are fading, reality proves me wrong.
“I don’t know how to make it stop,” I hiccup through my tears. “I’m sorry.”
Aiden’s arms release me, his hand hooking around my neck. As he guides my chin up with his thumb so I’m looking into his eyes, he says, “Do not apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” His voice is soft, but his hardened face tells me he’s fighting his emotions. Anger. Sympathy. Guilt. All of them tear at my heart. I don’t want him to hurt. I want him to be free of my nightmare, but I don’t know how to do that if we’re together. I squeeze my eyes shut in frustration. Why is it the second something goes wrong, I doubt us being together?
I look down and dig the palms of my hands into my eyes. Shaking my head slowly, I groan. I hear the door close, so I assume Syd and Max went back outside.
“Addison, I love you,” he whispers in my ear. “We’ll get through this. Together.” He raises his voice to make sure I hear the last part. I sigh. If only it was that easy. “Stop. You remember last time you tried to run from me? You fell.” He chuckles. I look up to his eyes and softly smile. His beautiful, emerald green eyes glisten with wetness. “Let me be here for you. To catch you and lift you up. Let my love fill your dark spaces. If you would just let me in and stop fighting with yourself.” I exhale shakily as his thumb caresses my cheek. “Fuck, Addison. That’s for me to decide. And I choose you. I will always choose you. So stop running.”
The depth of his words reach deep inside me, his love encompassing my fractured heart, sending pulses through it to wake it the hell up. Any doubts that I have about Aiden start to shred, piece by piece. This man in front of me, who is handing himself to me without any reservation, is the breath I need to help me heal. I can’t live without it.
I can’t live without him.
A tear escapes down Aiden’s cheek. I take a deep breath in and out. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m happy that fate led me to you.” He laughs, bending over and kissing my nose. He knows how I feel about fate. He’s silent as he waits for me to gather my thoughts. “I can’t imagine you not being in my life. The love that I have for you scares the shit out of me.” I look away from his emotional eyes as I declare one of my biggest fears.
“I understand that,” he says softly as he guides my face back to his.
“We … we have so much more to talk about, but I can’t right now,” I say with so much vulnerability in my words. I’m emotionally drained. I need to be more stable to talk about how deep that love is. “But…” I pause, taking in another deep breath, “…I’ll stop running. Please be patient with me.”
“Addison, there’s no rush. As long as I’m by your side.” He holds my face in his hands and pours his love into a kiss. A beautiful kiss. Tender, soft, and loving.
“I’m going to need a few moments to gather myself,” I say. He smiles and nods in understanding. I walk to the bathroom, letting it close behind me.
