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Aiden shook his head, unwilling to argue the point. "After everything that's happened, do you honestly think I could live at the Double Jay playing happy family with you? Face it—I wasn't made for a life like that. We should've known all along."
Seth took a deep breath, and his anger and frustration bled out of him on a long exhale. When Aiden searched his face, all he saw was vulnerability and longing so intense it made him ache.
"I love you," Seth whispered, releasing his wrists to cup his face in both hands. He tipped Aiden's face up to his and kissed him over and over—small, frantic kisses that stole Aiden's breath. "You're all I've ever wanted."
Aiden's heart twisted at the raw sincerity in his voice. He believed Seth; that was the most terrible part.
"I know you do," Aiden whispered, clenching his teeth and squinting in a desperate attempt to combat the sting in his eyes. "That's why this won't work. You deserve better than someone like me."
"Don't I get a say in that?" Seth demanded.
Aiden didn't answer, but he looked away, knuckling the dampness from his eyes. "You know what I was imagining the other day?" he asked, almost angrily. "What a good dad you would make. I want to see that more than anything, but it ain't ever gonna happen with a guy like me. You see that, right? Folks already barely trust me with much more than a dog—and they're right."
He couldn't meet Seth's eyes; he didn't want to see the sorrow or pity in his expression. It would break the tiny pieces of his heart that weren't already shattered. He broke free of Seth's grip and headed toward the door, but Seth caught him by the elbow before he'd taken a complete step.
"Don't do this," Seth pleaded in a harsh voice. "At least let me drive you home."
Aiden hesitated. Part of him imagined giving in, just for a moment, and allowing himself a little more time with Seth. But he knew if he got in that truck, it would only make it harder to turn him down again.
He didn't look at Seth; he simply reached up and gently pried his hand off his elbow. Seth resisted at first, his fingers biting into Aiden's flesh, but Aiden refused to turn around. He just waited, counting the breaths between his heartbeats until Seth's hand eventually slid away.
"I'll walk," Aiden assured him, injecting a note of false cheer in his voice and keeping his eyes trained on the door. "It’s close enough. That's the one good thing about living in the trailer park."
As he fumbled with the lock and tripped out into the humid air of the hall, he laughed grimly. He'd better get used to looking favorably at that tin can he lived in. He was going to be there for the rest of his life.
Chapter Thirty
SETH
Seth braced one knee against the steering wheel, steadying the truck as he crept along at a snail's pace, and warmed his gloveless fingers with a puff of breath. The truck was cold enough to freeze a turkey. The full blast of the heater was struggling to defrost the windshield fast enough, so he flicked on the wipers and scraped away a bigger space to peer through the glass.
His heart twisted at the sight of Aiden, head down, trudging along the empty, snow-covered streets. He was swaying on his feet, pausing occasionally to catch his balance against a shopfront. Each step looked heavier than the last, but Seth knew better than to pull up alongside him and force him into the truck. Even an easy-going man like Aiden had his pride, and once it was riled, there was no talking him down. So, Seth followed at a distance, far enough that the rumble of his engine would be little more than a purr inside Aiden's booze-soaked brain.
Tessa and Aiden could call him controlling all they wanted, but there was no way he was going to allow Aiden to wander off, drunk and angry, into sub-zero temperatures. He'd done a lot of things wrong and made a lot of mistakes. If he could go back and do it over again, he'd have been honest with Aiden from the start—not just about the ionophore toxicity, but about his feelings for him. He'd always regret the time they'd wasted. But one thing he'd never budge on was his desire to protect him wherever and whenever he could.
Sweetwater was like a ghost town this late at night, empty and eerily silent. Every street was deserted, and the snow had a way of muffling even the crunch of his tires. His truck was an older model, so he was able to shut down his headlights and creep along unnoticed—or so he thought. His heart skipped a beat when the lone cowboy he was tailing stopped dead in the street and turned to face him.
They sat at a stand-off, staring at each other through the darkness of Seth's iced-over windshield, until Aiden eventually threw back his shoulders, widened his stance, and crooked a finger in a come-hither gesture.
"Fuck," Seth muttered under his breath.
He eased the truck alongside Aiden and left it idling quietly. Aiden stood there for a moment, his breath visible in tiny, rapid puffs, and then he yanked the door open so hard the hinges groaned in protest.
"If you're going to follow me anyway, you might as well give me a lift," he growled, slamming the door shut behind him.
"Always," Seth promised, but he couldn't resist adding, "You could've changed your mind before you were only a block from the trailer park."
"I'm not going home," Aiden said, bracing one boot against the dash and slouching in his seat. He looked like he was settling in for a long drive, and Seth's heart gave a hopeful little twitch. Maybe he wanted to go back to the Double Jay after all.
"Where to?" he asked in a measured tone, trying not to get his hopes up.
"My mom's place," Aiden said shortly. Even in the dark, Seth could see the muscles in his jaw tightening.
He hesitated. "It's the middle of the night, Aiden. Whatever you've got to say can wait until morning."
"I'm not going for her," Aiden said, staring straight through the windshield. "I'm going to get back the only real family I ever had."
"Aiden—"
