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Fierce concentration was the only thing that stopped Seth's fingers from shaking. It was almost impossible to ignore how vulnerable the exposed skin of Aiden's throat looked beneath his collar. His chest was lean, muscled, and nearly hairless, a sharp contrast to Seth's body. His fingers itched to slip beneath the fabric and count the ridges in Aiden's flat stomach, but it was the last thing either of them needed. It had always been the last thing they needed.
"Nothing to say, huh?" Aiden taunted. "Thought so."
Seth swallowed and said thickly, "It wasn't that simple, Aiden."
"What's so complicated?" Aiden asked. "You spent all that time teaching me, bailing me out of trouble, coming to the rescue any time I needed it. Then you dropped me like a hot rock as soon as the shoe was on the other foot. I always…I always wondered if you blamed me."
"For what?" Seth asked sharply.
"I dunno," Aiden said, standing placidly beneath Seth's attention.
It didn't feel unusual for Seth to be helping him out of his clothes. After all, he could barely move his arm, and they'd been that close once. Boundaries had never been much of a thing for Aiden—except one that Seth had never dared to cross.
"You wouldn't have been drinking that night if it weren't for me," Aiden admitted lamely. He couldn't meet Seth's eyes, so he dropped his gaze and worked the snap of his jeans one-handed, but not before Seth saw a flash of vague, helpless hurt in his expression. "It's just that I didn't want to be alone that night, you know? I'm a screw-up, I know that, but I never meant to drag you down with me, and—and?—"
Seth's heart gave such a powerful tug that he couldn't ignore it. He cupped Aiden's cheek, stroking his thumb over the faded bruise still lingering above his eyebrow, and said harshly, "That's not what happened."
Aiden went dead still. He didn't seem to be breathing, but then he blurted, "I don't even remember that night. Not much, anyway. I remember cracking open the bottle we got from Mom's cabinet, bedding down in the hay, and…you."
"What about me?"
"You were telling me that everything was going to be okay. You said I'd always have a home if you were around, and then—I think…I thought…"
His confusion and pain ate at Seth. When he couldn't bear to listen anymore, he cupped Aiden's face in both hands and kissed him. Aiden let out a startled noise, but Seth swallowed the sound, relishing the way it guttered into a muffled whimper instead. He cradled Aiden's head in his hands, tilting it just so and sinking into a kiss that felt like he'd waited a lifetime to try once more.
This, his mind whispered fiercely. This is what he'd been meant to be doing all along.
With the workout Aiden always gave his mouth, his lips should be tough, but they weren't. They were lush and giving. Seth played with the softness he found there, clinging, teasing, nipping the cushion of his bottom lip and sucking it gently between his teeth. When Aiden gasped, Seth took the chance to slip his tongue inside his mouth. He coaxed Aiden's tongue into a playful tangle, licking the hint of cheap beer from his mouth and tasting the sweetness beneath it. One taste, and he was ravenous. He didn't think he'd ever be able to stop.
His hands dropped to Aiden's shirtless waist and pulled him close. Aiden's skin was warm, and his unbuttoned jeans had slipped low on his hips. All it would take was a small nudge, and the denim would pool around his knees. He'd be naked, and Seth could finally gorge himself on the sight. He could eat him alive with just his eyes and not be forced to pretend he wasn't looking.
Aiden was moaning, plastering his body up against Seth's and winding his arms around Seth's neck—or trying. He aborted the motion halfway, freezing in agony. Seth released him as soon as he felt him tense, but he didn't get far. Aiden was still clutching his shirtfront for balance.
"Yeah, that," Aiden gasped, sounding dazed. He licked his swollen lips. "I thought I remembered that."
Seth couldn't resist cupping his jaw and kissing him gently, just once more, before releasing him. He'd never get another chance. "You need that shower," he said quietly, "and I need to go."
"Shower with me," Aiden suggested, faking a leer that faded almost instantly beneath the weight of his uncertainty. A man like Aiden was used to fooling around; he didn't know how to act when it felt this real.
Seth shook his head, full of regret and desperate, desperate longing.
"That would be a mistake," he said reluctantly.
Then he watched as the light in Aiden's eyes died.
Chapter Twelve
AIDEN
The laughter that bubbled up from Aiden's throat sounded thin and pitchy in his own ears. He cringed and backed away, putting some space between them before he did something he regretted. His lips still tingled with the phantom pressure of Seth's kiss.
"Sure, I get it," he said, choking on manic laughter.
"Aiden—"
"No, I really do get it. Not like I haven't heard that before." Aiden thrust a hand between them to stop whatever mollifying garbage he was about to dish up. Seth was a protector; it was his nature to be gentle with people. Even people like Aiden, who never asked for it.
Seth's expression was dark with regret. "That's not what I?—"
