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Eve frowned and tilted her head. “How could Stassia having Carlo’s baby be your fault?” she asked, sounding genuinely confused.
I sighed and told her the truth, “Well, if I hadn’t lied to Carlo in the first place, that would have prevented all of this from happening. I told him that I didn’t really love him. And that I didn’t want a family with him. I essentially chased him right into Stassia’s greedy little hands.”
Eve’s shoulders slumped, and she grabbed my hand. “You were trying to save Carlo’s life. No, you were trying to save all of our lives.”
Eve was doing what all best friends were required to do. And that was to make you feel better when you’d really messed up. I didn’t deserve her kindness and understanding. But I was going to take it.
“I was stupid. I could have stopped him from sleeping with her. Instead,” I let out a long breath, “I laid there night after night, listening to him fuck someone else on the other side of the wall.” I hadn’t given Eve any specific details about what had happened when the three of us—Stassia, Carlo, and I—had been under the same roof. She might have guessed some of it.
And to be honest, I wasn’t sure I’d ever tell her everything. That wasn’t something I had to decide today, though.
“Please don’t blame yourself, honey. You did what you had to do.”
I nodded and said, “Yeah, and now Nicco’s here.”
She looked into my eyes and repeated, “And now Nicco’s here.” Her hand squeezed my arm. “I don’t know if this will help you. But I have to say it, anyway. Please, don’t be angry about what I’m about to tell you. Okay?”
The worry etched on her face tugged at my heart. “I promise.”
She nodded but didn’t look all that relieved. “You know that Theo isn’t mine. You also know that Nick and I were less than—” she bit her lip and looked off to the side for a moment before returning her gaze to me, “less than enthusiastic when we found out Louise was pregnant. I mean, none of us meant for it to happen.” Her eyes closed briefly, “I mean, Nick and I didn’t know that Louise wanted Nick’s baby. And you also know that I did nothing to stop Louise from having full access to my husband for an entire weekend.”
I knew all of that. Even though I didn’t really understand the choices those three had made, I also wasn’t there. And it wasn’t like I’d never slept with Nick before. Because I had. At her insistence.
When Eve was pregnant with their twins, and sex was off the table for her and Nick—she’d asked me to take care of him while she couldn’t.
And I did what she asked. For as long as she asked it.
“I know that,” I responded and hoped she’d move on with the story. I hated going over this part of her history.
“But what you don’t know is that when I met Theo, we bonded. Almost instantly. He needed me so much. And I needed him, too. And even though he wasn’t mine, then—he is now. We don’t share one drop of the same blood. But he’s my son just as much as Angelo is. And I love him just as much as I love Angelo and Ari.”
I knew she loved her kids. All of them. Even the one who came to her via her dead best friend—who’d weaseled her way onto Nick’s cock for a wild weekend in Paris.
“And they all love you, Evie. You and Nick,” I told her. And I meant it, too. I wasn’t just giving her lip service. No one would be able to tell the difference between the love she showed her twins—who came from her body, to the love she showed Theo—who didn’t.
She smiled a teary grin at me and nodded. “I know. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.” Her hand reached out and gently stroked Marcello’s head as he nursed. “You love this big guy just as much as you love Dani. And you can love Nicco like that, too.”
I inwardly gasped at her words. Just the thought of—seeing, let alone loving Stassia’s baby made me feel things I’d never in my life felt before.
I knew eventually I’d have to meet the baby. Carlo’s baby. That he made with another woman.
But I was definitely not ready to do that. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be ready for that.
Maybe when he was older and starting school. Once Carlo and I had more time together.
Part of me knew those were probably very lofty goals.
But I also knew I had to look after myself. And my family.
If that meant Carlo would have to disappear occasionally to see his other son—then so be it.
That didn’t mean I had to be involved, though. He’d made that baby with Stassia. Not me.
And Carlo would have to juggle that area of his life.
“I don’t know if I can do that, Evie. You’re a much better person than I am—than I’ll ever be.”
A few tears escaped, and she quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand. “I’m not, honey. Trust me. When Louise showed up at our doorstep—pregnant with Nick’s baby—” She shook her head and sighed. “I felt like my life was over. Nick and I’d been trying for a baby for so long, and then here was another woman—with his baby growing inside of her. It hurt so much. I can’t even describe how badly. But once I had to look after him—”
