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But I didn’t want to be.
I wanted to be gone.
I’d been fading out.
So, so peacefully.
I felt the life drain from me slowly.
And it was so perfect.
So wonderful.
No pain.
No worries.
No monsters.
No having to hide and protect.
Just—drifting away.
Into nothingness.
And now—
Now, I was back.
I turned my head from side to side as pure and utter—devastation and dread filled my body.
I did not want to be here.
I’d had the perfect ending.
I’d escaped the monster.
I saved my babies.
And had given Carlo his son.
My purpose on this Earth was over and done with.
“No, no,” I started crying. But it sounded more like a rasping sound.
“Yes, you’re back with us. Thank fuck, you’re finally back. You scared the shit out of us. Christ.” His lips kissed my cheeks, and then he carefully touched his lips to mine. “I love you. And I’m so glad you’re back.”
I was back.
“No, no, I can’t be. I was gone. I was gone,” I whimpered, the grief of my situation shooting through me.
“No, no, no,” I repeated over and over again.
The baby started crying louder. Carlo’s confused face hurt my heart.
It hurt so bad.
I didn’t want to hurt him.
