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And, yet, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do about it.
Fate slammed us together, and the only thing I have to protect me is a promise that this man won’t make it official by claiming me without my verbal permission.
He holds my phone back out to me. “There. You have access to support now.”
Taking my phone, I pull back my shoulders. “I’d like to enforce a boundary.”
His brows rise.
“When I say no, Pollux, I do really mean no.”
Calculations spill through his eyes, then physical pain crosses his expression. “I apologize. I am trying to do what’s best for you, but removing your say in the matter does not help that goal. I shall not do it again, and if I learn of your new pin after you change it, I will tell you immediately so you can change it again.”
Dully, I watch him, already knowing I’m not going to bother changing my pin. This is the most sincere man I’ve ever met, and he literally can’t lie, so what’s the point?
Sighing, I locate the new names in my phone. Alana. Brittny. Willow. A moth princess. A werecanine. And a vampire thrall. Now available to text at my leisure. “Why were they all part human? Seems a little imbalanced.”
“If you ask Willow and Alana, it’s because they’re starring as the leads in a book series and their humanity makes them…” He clears his throat, muttering, “…hashtag relatable.”
“And if I ask you?”
He lifts and drops his shoulders. “The universe is kind enough to prepare similarities among a group of friends and those who will enter it. There are many, many more pairings I know of in Cael’s domain that aren’t from part human places. But, given the relationships made prior to meeting our soulmates, it makes sense that those entering this group would be able to do so seamlessly. Zylus was human once, so Willow being part human makes sense. Willow set the stage going forward. Perhaps it’s less a matter of relatability on a large, public scale, and more about relatability on an internal one. Willow, Brittny, and Alana have been where you are. They grew up in the world you’ve known. They’ve asked the questions you’re asking. They’ve been overwhelmed by the massive shifts in their reality. Willow even rejected all of this for a while. In many ways, they understand how it feels to be going through what you are going through. Therefore, my connection to them makes you an even more perfect pair for me.”
He’s making a lot of sense and saying a lot of pretty, smart, deep-thinking type words. The kinds of words I like quite a lot.
My toes curl in my shoes as I uncross my ankles and cross them the other way. “Ultimately, you believe it’s a very good idea for me to connect with these women?”
“I do.”
“Even though I would be doing so with the intent of being vulnerable in front of basic strangers?” My head shakes. “I’m just not sure how comfortable I am with that.”
“Sometimes growing isn’t comfortable. That’s why it is a word often paired with pains.”
I stuff a pastry in my mouth and try not to pout like a child.
Pollux continues, “I am warning you that Willow will find you whether you reach out to her or not.”
“How foreboding,” I mumble around the amazing cherry filling.
“She takes her position in this group very seriously. She has spent so much of her life isolated. Now that she has found the place where she is safe to belong, she has realized how much care she had lying dormant inside her. Your adoption is inevitable.”
“Adoption? Is she the matriarch of your friend group?”
“I did imply as much a moment ago.”
I get another pastry. “So this is what I’m hearing: I am adrift in a tide that I cannot control. I have no hope of reaching the shore. It’s just a matter of time before I give in and let the ocean take me.”
“You are free to reject us, Kassandra. You are enough of a human that you could tell me you want nothing to do with me, and I would respect that. Willow learned too young not to force herself into places where it is clear she is not wanted. You are free to break my heart. I will pretend I have not sensed your arousal every time I am near. I will pretend you did not feel so at peace the first time you joined me for a meal that it subdued you to tears. We do not choose our soulmates, but we do have a choice on whether or not we accept them.” Reaching, he latches a curl behind my ear and lets his touch linger. “You can lock this knowledge up with the rest of the things your world has taught you to scorn, or you can take the key I am offering. It is up to you.”
I scoff. “I dislike the words you’re using. They have manipulative connotations. Of course the second option seems better. No one wants to be locked up.”
“And, yet, that is how you live. Locked in a cage. Apologizing for and asking others to forget the brief, beautiful moments you display when you think no one can condemn you.”
Glaring, I lift my chin. “We agreed not to bring up what happened in the dream plane again.”
“No, we didn’t. The only thing I agreed to last night was not to claim you without your permission.”
A swear slips through my brain. He’s right. He never agreed not to bring up my skankish behavior. He just told me he didn’t think begging him to touch me in ways that would haunt me counted as skankish behavior.
