AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Ollie. I like you. I want to be with you. Can you, for even a moment, get enough courage to tell me you’ll try and treat this situation like one where you want to find a solution because being with you is worth looking for one? There has to be an answer. It’s cruel if I’m expected to abandon my family. It’s cruel if I can’t stay with someone who…who makes me feel completely normal sitting on the floor in my kitchen after fighting with a tub of ice cream.”
Ollie watches my eyes a moment, then he drops his gaze to the frosted container in his hands. “Were I good enough for you, Brittny, there would be no question or concern. I would be an alpha with a territory and a pack to offer you. I would make waiting until the next full moon…tremendously difficult just to watch you want me and show you how much I want you.”
My breath stutters. “The next full moon?”
“That is when I could turn you and make you mine. Say my binding vows. Marry you.”
I swallow. Hard. “Let’s act under the assumption you are an alpha, then.”
His gaze drags up to me. “Treating you in the way I want to would manipulate your emotions.”
“I’m okay with that if it means you’re treating me like you don’t think you have to keep your distance because there’s too much standing against us.”
“I’m conflicted and overwhelmed and don’t know how to do right by you. I can’t give you a full life without stealing the one you currently have. I shouldn’t even be entertaining a nearness, but I don’t want to abandon you. Even if I did drag myself away, I don’t know if you can move on now that you know you have a soulmate. I don’t know if it’s possible for you to reconcile being with anyone else.” His fist clenches against his thigh. “I don’t trust anyone else with you. I have no idea what to do. And I am so, so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. It sounds like you resent your very existence.”
His mouth opens, closes. He scrapes a bit of frost off the side of the ice cream container, leaving it to collect at the end of his short nail. “Sorry.”
“Please stop. You need to have more confidence in yourself.”
“I am extremely confident. To the point of frustration. Hence why we are arguing.”
“Being confident that you’re bad isn’t the kind of confidence I’m looking for.”
The corner of his mouth tips in a wry, broken smile that gets nowhere close to revealing a dimple. “If I’m not capable of giving you what you’re looking for while I’m holding half a gallon of ice cream, I really don’t know what to do.”
“Must dogs be so stubborn?” I mutter.
“Must you compare me to a dog?”
My eyes narrow. “If the sock ski mask fits.”
He stills, and a breath sticks in his chest for a long moment. Clearing his throat, he finally pulls his attention off me. “You realize you’re arguing that someone who has worn an old black sock on their head is a person worthy of you? That’s what you consider a valuable partner?”
I sniff. “It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of.”
“I’ve lost count of the women I’ve been with, Brittny. There are so many things I regret and have no idea how to correct. All I know is I can’t bear the thought of making you give up anything in order to bless someone as undeserving as me.”
I lock my jaw. “Have you been tested for STDs?”
His eyes widen. “I…have.”
“And?”
“I’m…fine.”
“Listen to me, Ollie.” Reaching for him, I cup his chin and make him look at me. “Am I thrilled you’ve fooled around? No. Would I have loved to be your only? Sure. Am I bothered that you’re letting these parts of your past affect our now? Yes. But do I think your worth relies on any of the decisions you now regret? Do I think strength matters half as much as kindness and everything else you’ve done for me?” I let my thumb trace a line between tan and white on his cheek. “I’m not fighting to be with the guy who wore a sock on his head. I’m fighting to be with the guy who let me put it there just because he knew it would make me happy.” I take a deep breath. “So stop acting like you know what’s best for me before I get really mad and do something stupid.”
He watches me, eyes half-lidded and dark lashes lowered. “Stupider than hacking into a container of ice cream with a chef’s knife?”
“That wasn’t stupid. That was resourceful.”
“I have a feeling culinary classes everywhere would disagree with you.”
“It’s a good thing I’m not asking for their opinions.”
Sighing, he lifts the spoon of ice cream and brings it to my lips. “I have some boundaries I’d like for you to be aware of if you are insistent on trying to find a way that doesn’t rob you of everything you have loved…”
