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He exhales. “I’m scared to try.”
“Why?”
“Because,” he murmurs into another bite, “I really like you. But the only way I get to keep you is if I trick you into liking me a whole lot more than you do. Which, naturally, leaves me struggling with some moral dilemmas. Among other things.”
I roll onto my side and peek down at him. “I like you a whole lot already.”
“You like the romanticized picture, the guy who sings you love songs and rescues you from danger and suffers being dressed like a clown just to spend one more day with you.”
“I think those parts reveal a lot about who you are.”
“Not the ugly pieces, which are the reason relationships fall apart.”
“Name an ugly piece then?”
He meets my eyes as he nibbles his burrito. “My senses are hypersensitive, so uncontrolled stimuli overwhelm me easily, making me irritable in the environments you’re used to. I’m cocky. I’m weak.”
“Weak? You broke someone’s wrist two days ago.”
“I broke a human’s wrist two days ago. In my world, I’m the most inexperienced of seven brothers. My best friends are an ancient vampire and a royal adelidae, which is so rare a thing he’s the only one anyone I know has ever known. Compared to them, I’m a joke.”
“I don’t think you’re a joke.”
“Well. I said it, so it must be true.”
“Just because you believe something’s true doesn’t make it true. And just because it’s hard to find solid facts disproving what you’ve said doesn’t mean they aren’t there. I think you’re wonderful just for putting up with me.”
He smiles. “I think maybe we both have pretty—” He curses. “—opinions of ourselves if you think you’re someone I have to put up with.” Lifting his hand, he skims his touch across my cheek. “Even when I’m overwhelmed and irritable and very, very tired, you are still the most beautiful creature I have ever met throughout the ages of my existence.”
Before he can pull away, I hold his fingers to my skin.
His smile tames, falling. “I want to do right by you, Brittny. I want you, but I’m not blind to your desperation. I’m unwilling to use it against you. Now that we’ve wound up here, I can’t forfeit this chance to…to earn your affections if it’s meant to be, but I must recognize the barriers standing in the way. I want to give you every choice, and in those choices I want to equip you with the tools to make educated decisions. I would not survive eternity if you—”
“Eternity?” I whisper.
His fingers flinch against me. Strained, he says, “…yes. I am young yet as I near four human lifetimes. Zy’s within his seventeenth century. And Cael? My royal friend? He bears so many years he refuses to count them or let them be known.”
“How? Isn’t…isn’t population a problem?”
“Entire universes of Faerie exist within the smallest crack of this world. We are out of sight, and out of mind, ignored, brushed aside, unseen. Some of us come and go like a season. Others stand firm like mountains until millennia of rain washes us away. Ages pass through some of our eyes. Moments take up the lifetimes of others. It is a great deal to explain, and a greater deal to understand.”
Pressing my lips together, I try. I try, and I fail. “Does…this mean that I’m only a moment in your life? After me, someone else will be your soul’s mate? Maybe…maybe even before me someone else was, too? Why would you end up paired with a human instead of someone who would match your longevity?” Partly human. My heart beats a staccato rhythm. “Am I human?”
“Ye…” The word chokes in his throat, and he closes his eyes.
“Ollie?”
“You are like Willoughby.”
“She told me we weren’t exactly the same. You can mean I’m like her in the sense that we’re both female. Please. Tell me clearly.”
“You catch onto things far quicker than is entirely preferred for my blood pressure.”
“Please,” I whisper again.
“No, Brittny. You are not completely human. You carry the scent of Faerie in your blood. Somewhere in your history, maybe at more places than one, the fae muddied your lineage with magic, and that magic presents itself in you.”
A chill goes through me. “And…and Alana? Wouldn’t that mean she’s also…?”
