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“Aaron mentioned a vacation.”
He smiled. “Yeah, they won’t take money from me, so I take them on some ridiculously fancy vacation every July. My mom is too damn proud to pick the places she really wants to go, so my dad slips me a wish list every few years and I make sure we get there.” She had a strange look on her face and he glanced down. “What? Do I have something on my face?”
“No.” Trish shook her head. “That’s just...really, really sweet that you do that for them.”
“Don’t get any funny ideas. I’m still an asshole most of the time. I’m just not an ungrateful asshole. Every opportunity I’ve had in life is because they helped ensure I was in a place to take advantage of it. It’s right that I can take care of them now that I’m in a good place.” He was still working on his mom about moving them out to the East Coast when she retired, but that was a long argument that would be years before it reached completion. Cameron got his stubbornness from her, and she wasn’t going to agree to move their life without him pulling some serious moves. After moving so much when his father was still in the army, his parents had embraced living in one place and weren’t eager to uproot again.
Grandkids might help sway her.
He shut down that thought real fast. Too much, too soon.
Trish sat back as the waitress appeared with their food. “Cameron O’Clery, you don’t fool me. For all your snarling, you’re a good man.”
I want to be your man.
Trish turned the conversation to lighter topics as they ate, but she kept thinking about the look on Cameron’s face when he talked about his parents. Love. He loved them without reservation, without caveats, without complications. She wished things were that simple with her parents. There was plenty of blame for that to go around, though. They might have held too tightly to her, but she’d been so damn determined to put miles between herself and her childhood home. To be free.
She still wanted that.
The thought soured her stomach and she pushed her food around on her plate, conscious of the way Cameron watched her. Faking her way out of her melancholy mood wouldn’t work with him—he’d more than proven that—and she didn’t have any backup plan. A sweet smile and soft tone had always worked as deflection up to this point.
She was stripped bare for this man, and it wasn’t comfortable in the least. How could she have barriers in place to keep herself safe when he saw through every defensive measure she took? “Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop looking at me like you want to crawl around inside my brain.”
Cameron didn’t look away. “Would you like to fight with me over nothing? Or would you rather talk about what’s bothering you?”
Lord, even in this, he somehow managed to cut through all the bullshit she’d thrown in his way, right to the heart of her.
Maybe... Maybe it would be a good thing to talk about the soul-crushing realities she carried around with her. If that wasn’t enough to scare him off, maybe this could actually work. The thought made her snort.
“Trish?”
“Okay, fine. I was just thinking about how all I want is freedom—and how it’s the one thing that I seem to miss by a mile no matter what I do.”
Cameron leaned back, giving her his full attention. “Explain.”
“I’d like to pretend I’m free right now. I have my own apartment. I have a job I actually enjoy. I’m in London.”
“You’re saying you don’t feel free.”
It was as if his words opened the floodgates. She couldn’t hold back the barrage of words that poured from her lips. “Because I’m not free. My awesome apartment? My brother paid for me to get into it, because my bank account was dangerously close to red before I got this job. The same job that Aaron set up for me, despite my qualifications being totally not up to par. Am I really any freer now than when I was living in my old bedroom in my parent’s house?”
“Yes.” Cameron frowned. “Aaron must know you well enough that you’ve set up some kind of payment plan to repay him for the money he fronted you.”
“Well...yeah. He did do that. But—”
Except Cameron wasn’t done. “And I’ll admit I had my doubts when he suggested you for the position, but you’ve proven to be more qualified than I could have dreamed. You’re an asset, Trish. It strikes me that everyone around you can see it, even if you can’t.”
He meant it. Sincerity practically radiated from him, and even if it hadn’t, Cameron wasn’t in a habit of saying things he didn’t mean.
She just wished she could believe it, too. Trish had run so far and so fast, but she kept falling back on the safety net her family represented. She hadn’t truly stood on her own two feet...ever.
Cameron might not understand that, but she did.
Trish took a hasty sip of her water. Better to change the subject than keep trying to convince him she was a continuous disappointment. And, truth be told, it felt kind of nice to have one person look at her like she was this amazingly accomplished woman...even if she hadn’t actually accomplished any of her goals.
