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Aaron moved to the stove and started the rice. “Trish’s degree is in sales.”
“Yes, you mentioned that. Three times.” She smiled. “That skill set would be really useful if you want to ease back from dealing directly with clients on the level you do right now.”
She had a point.
He transferred the chicken back to the pan and started lining up the cheese and spinach to fill the chicken breasts with. “It could work. Though Trish is the sweetest person I know, she’s pretty damn determined. If she set out to carve a place for herself within the company, not even Cameron’s surliness would be enough to stop her.” He grinned. “I might actually pay to sit in on that first meeting.”
“See!” Becka spread her hands and wiggled her fingers. “I’m brilliant.”
“You are.” He leaned over the island and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. Gratitude and happiness welled up inside him, a bolt straight to the heart with that single casual contact. Aaron rocked back on his heels as the truth settled inside him.
I love her.
He had for a while, if he was going to be honest with himself. He stared at the chicken in front of him, keeping his jaw clenched to prevent the words from escaping. If there was one thing he was sure of, it was Becka’s reaction if he dropped that truth on her. She cared for him—she wouldn’t act the way she did otherwise—but her fear of retreading her parents’ footsteps made her so gun-shy, one wrong word was enough to close her off from him for days.
If he dropped this bombshell?
He might lose her forever.
Aaron cleared his throat. Just because I love her doesn’t mean I have to tell her. Not yet. “I’ll talk to Cameron tomorrow before the doctor’s appointment, and call Trish after. Though we’ll have to get her set up in a place, otherwise she’ll move in here and take over the spare bedroom.”
“My room.” She rolled her eyes at his look. “Okay, fine. I haven’t slept in that room in a month, so I guess it’s not technically my room for the time being.”
For the time being.
She kept putting qualifiers on what they were. She couldn’t seem to help herself.
He set aside his frustration just like he had every other time and focused on finishing dinner. Becka was in his life and in his bed—for now. He’d do whatever it took to keep her there and ensure she didn’t let the past poison the possibility of their future together.
Unfortunately, that was easier said than done.
14
BECKA COULDN’T STOP pacing as they waited for the doctor to arrive. It had been bad enough during the last appointment, sitting by herself in the consulting room with the knowledge like a rock in her gut that everything had changed and there was no going back. That was before her body had started actually showing changes. Now her stomach had a definite curve and she could actually feel the baby move regularly.
This was real.
It was happening.
She should sit down. Should be able to handle this despite feeling like she was one sharp move away from coming out of her skin. She couldn’t. Nerves kept her moving despite Aaron’s increasing stillness. He’d stopped watching her several minutes ago and had taken up staring at the door as if he could summon the doctor faster through sheer willpower. Knowing Aaron, it was entirely possible.
She was fucking this up, but she couldn’t stop. The future sat like a weight around her neck, threatening to take her to her knees. She might be able to forget the circumstances that had brought her and Aaron back together when they were going about their lives. Playing house. There was no forgetting in that clinic room. The truth was in every diagram on the walls and the table with its thin paper laid over it. It was in the sterile hospital smell that even places like this held. It was even in the quiet murmur she could hear from beyond the walls on either side of them and in the hall as nurses led other patients through the warren of rooms.
I’m having a baby.
I’m having a baby with Aaron.
A knock on the door brought her up short. Dr. Richardson, a short Filipina lady who’d been Becka’s gynecologist since she was sixteen, poked her head in and smiled warmly. “Becka, it’s good to see you again.” She stepped into the room and closed the door softly behind her before turning and extending a hand to Aaron. “Dr. Richardson.”
“Aaron Livingston.” He gave what appeared to be a firm handshake and sat back.
The doctor motioned to the table. “Shall we?”
Becka sat on the table and suffered through having her vitals taken while Dr. Richardson asked her the normal questions. No, she had no concerns. Yes, she was taking her prenatal vitamin. Yes, she was getting enough sleep. No, no weird cravings for nonfood items. Unsurprisingly, her blood pressure was significantly higher than normal.
Next, she lay back as her doctor measured her uterus and felt around. Becka stared at the ceiling, just wanting the whole thing to be over. Until next month when I have to come in again. She held her breath as Dr. Richardson brought out the machine to listen to the baby’s heartbeat.
This was it. The moment when there was no denying how real this whole fucked-up situation was.
