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That was the problem, though—she’d been doing nothing but thinking about her options going forward. Becka had always been better at acting first and worrying about the consequences later. So much inaction was not only unnatural, it stressed her the fuck out.
Allie nodded as if she’d said something. “You’ve already decided you’re going to do things his way. That’s okay. But if you change your mind at any point, that’s okay, Becka. You’re not trapped, no matter what it feels like right now.”
Trapped.
That was a good word. Becka rubbed a hand over her face. Now that she’d actually let herself decide, there was no reason to delay. If she held off too long, she had no doubt Aaron would come charging through her door again and then she’d have to tell him to fuck off out of sheer principle and it would be a case of cutting off her nose to spite her face. That wouldn’t actually help anyone.
She grabbed her phone off the coffee table and typed out a quick text to Aaron. You win this round. Text me your address.
The reply appeared before she had a chance to set the phone back down. I’ll pick you up in two hours.
Becka glared. “The man is insufferable.”
Allie leaned over to read the message. “Insufferable in kind of a sexy way, though. There’s something about a guy who takes charge that’s really attractive.”
“You only say that because you’re deeply in love with Roman. Seriously, do alpha males travel in a pack, because between Roman and Gideon and Aaron...” She shuddered. “You would have thought they’d do the lone wolf thing.”
“Lone wolves and alpha wolves are two very different things.”
“Thanks, National Geographic.” She glared harder at her phone and stabbed out a response. I will haul my own damn things. Give me your address. Compromise is your friend.
I can compromise. You have three hours.
“God!” She tossed her phone onto the table and shot to her feet, nearly knocking her friend over. She stalked to her bedroom and started throwing clothes onto her bed. She wasn’t moving in with him, but she would give him the benefit of the doubt—barely—and stay there for a little while to give the whole thing a trial.
The way things were going, it might be a very short trial.
Allie wisely decided to stand in the doorway and out of range. “What do you need from me?”
She loved her friend so freaking much for not putting any demands on her or trying to tell her how she should be reacting or feeling. That was Allie, though. She devoted her life to supporting women who needed it. Allie’s gym, Transcend, was linked up with a local women’s shelter, so the classes were women only. Becka always enjoyed getting them pumped up. It was a safe space for them to do something for themselves, and Becka was just a small part of that, but she loved it.
Allie might be understanding to the extreme, but Lucy wouldn’t be. Her sister had always been her opposite, and for better or worse, Lucy would have something to say about this whole baby situation. It was the logical, collected nature of her older sibling. Becka had to tell her eventually, but she wasn’t ready. Lucy would give her that look, the one that always got on her face when Becka screwed up or went too far.
When I act too much like our mother.
She couldn’t stand the thought of her sister’s disappointment. And there would be disappointment. This wasn’t an oops baby between Becka and some longtime boyfriend. This was a pregnancy as the result of a one night stand with a man she barely knew.
No, she wasn’t ready to tell Lucy about the baby.
She didn’t know if she’d ever be ready.
Becka dumped her gym bag next to the growing pile of clothes. “I don’t know what I need.” She stopped. “I’m a mess, and I don’t think that’s going to be changing any time soon, but I promise not to be too unbearable.”
“Oh honey.” Allie crossed the room in a few short steps and pulled Becka into her arms. She hugged her hard. “I know this is scary and you’re overwhelmed, but I don’t have a single doubt about you being the best mom out there. You have the luckiest little lima bean ever.”
“Lima bean.”
“Well, yeah. That’s about the size the baby is right now? I mean...”
“It’s actually closer to a lime.” She’d looked it up after the doctor confirmed the pregnancy.
“Oh wow, that’s a huge difference.” Allie laughed. “That’s not a very cute nickname, anyways. I can come up with better.”
Becka hugged her back hard. “No, I like it. Lima bean fits.” She didn’t have the heart to tell Allie that she wasn’t sure about being even a good mom, let alone the best one. Becka didn’t have much of a role model for that one, but she’d be damned before she made the same mistakes her mother did.
Except for the part where you got knocked up by a near stranger out of wedlock. So far, I’m swinging for the fences with walking in her footsteps.
Aaron half expected Becka not to be home when he arrived. He was pushing her too hard and he damn well knew it, but he couldn’t seem to get control of himself. The thought of her living in that run-down little apartment by herself, where the security was lackluster at best and the walls seemed a strong breeze away from coming down around her ears... It made him crazy. He’d never really thought about kids, other than as a vaguely theoretical “someday” in the equally vague future, but now that he had an actual baby on the way, he wasn’t about to stand back and let it want for anything.
