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I tightened my hold on the coffee mug in my hand. The New York skyline looked extraordinarily beautiful tonight. “I don’t have the right words to comfort you, Valerio. All I can tell you is that your brother is a fighter. He doesn’t give up when faced with giants, and he won’t give up now. He’s far too stubborn for death.”
That managed a laugh out of him. But as quickly as it came, it died down, as he saw the reflection of his brother's sleeping form in the window. The solemness returned, and shame and guilt washed over his features.
I squeezed his forearm gently, drawing his attention back to me. “You’re allowed to mourn him, you know?”
He looked at me confused.
“Your father. You’re allowed to grieve his loss. He was your father, after all.”
His muscles visibly tightened, and his jaw locked into place. “I won’t cry for that man.”
“I never said you should. But you can grieve. You’re allowed to mourn the loss of the father you believed you had while you make peace with the man he became. His sins are not yours to bare, but the pain is yours to carry. You don’t have to keep all the hurt and confusion inside. You feel it and then you move past it.”
We held each other's stares. This was the first time I truly saw my brother-in-law as more than just a template of a Mafia man. His walls were down, and the vulnerability in his eyes reminded me of his brother.
“He dishonored the code. It’s a shameful act that a family must bear.”
“No, it’s not, Valerio. Give yourself grace. Your brother did.” My words hung in the room, filling the empty spaces between us.
The conversation was heavy, but it was one that I felt he needed. I knew what it was like to carry anger and pain. It was a toxic kind of poison that eventually swallowed you whole, no matter how well you thought you could bear it.
“You have two seconds to stop looking at my woman like that, brother, or I may poke your eyes out.”
I jerked my head backward. “Andres?”
Lying there in the bed with his eyes peering right at me was my husband.
“Amor.” He extended his hand to me. “Come here.”
I didn’t waste any time. I placed my coffee by the windowsill and ran to him. I crossed the room in record time. I paused for only a second to look over his entire body to make sure he was okay, and then I pulled him into my arms.
“Oh…” he grunted on impact.
“I’m sorry!” I started to pull away after getting carried away, but he pressed my back down and pulled me into him to the point where I was lying on top of him. “You’re hurt.”
He nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck. “I don’t give a shit.”
The tenderness in his voice melted my resistance. I allowed myself to feel his warmth for the first time in almost a week. I hadn’t known just how much I loved hearing his heartbeat in my ear until now.
“Finally.” Valerio’s voice broke through my little blissful bubble. “I was starting to think you let a measly bullet get the better of you.”
Andres chuckled, but it sounded strained from the weight I had been putting on his chest. I lifted my body and looked back at the other Valdez brother. His eyes glistened against the fluorescent lights.
“Asshole.” His older brother smiled at him. “It’s good to see you, little brother.”
Valerio swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. “I guess it’s nice to see you too, brother.”
In other words, I love you and I missed you. But we all knew that men like them were above the mushy gushy sentiments.
“I will leave you two to have a moment. I will go inform the rest of the men and Dimitri.” He walked out of the room, leaving me with husband.
I turned my attention back to him and smiled. “You came back to me.”
“I told you I always would.”
“I love you.” I didn’t want to waste any more time than I already had. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, when I should have. I love you, Andres Valdez. I don’t know how you managed to let this ice-cold heart of mine melt, but you did. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
His eyes softened. “Finally. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear that.”
