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I replayed the events leading up to that dreadful moment and wondered where I could have done better. Andres had been right; it had all been a trap, and I should have known better, but I was so blinded by rage and bloodlust that all logic had been thrown out the window.
I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the regret to subside. I didn’t regret killing Felipe. But what I did regret was putting Andres in harm's way. My decision had been purely selfish. It wasn’t until Andres found himself in the line of fire that my heart had cracked open.
I had always known my feelings for him, but I had been too scared to confront them. I had been too scared to admit that my heart was capable of more than just vengeance. I didn’t want to be weak… I didn’t want to be vulnerable.
But now, I wished I had just told him.
I love you…
He had looked me in the eyes and told me he loved me, and I had…
“Fuck,” I groaned. “I’m sorry, Andres. Forgive me.”
After my check up with the doctor and some more coddling from my mother, I was out of my room. I felt like I could walk, but they all insisted that I be pushed in a wheelchair. I wanted to see Andres, so I didn’t care. I would wear a paper bag over my head if it meant I could see him.
When we got to his room, I noticed his Head of Security, Rodrigo, posted by the door with four other men in the hallway. When they noticed me being pushed by my mother, they all inclined their heads downwards in greeting.
“Mrs. Valdez, it’s good to see you awake.”
The last time I had seen this man I had kneeled him in the balls and taken his gun.
“Rodrigo,” I greeted him. “Your jaw seems to have healed.”
If I wasn’t mistaken, I saw a hint of a smile play on his lips. “Hell of a right hook you have there, ma’am.”
“No hard feelings?”
“Even if I did, would it matter?” He said with a straight face. “My job is to protect and serve.”
“Where are Valerio and Dimitri?” I asked. “Mama, you said that they never left his side.”
“There was some business they needed to attend to regarding the Bo—Andres’ father. The organization is in shambles. With Felipe gone and Andres in the hospital, the vultures are starting to circulate.”
As they usually did.
I just nodded. This would be an issue I would need to handle. Valerio was not the rightful heir, and the Mexicans might have exploited that. We needed to stand as a united front, and they would need me to preserve what Andres had created. “Have them meet with me when they return. We have some damage control we need to exact.”
“Savina.” Mama placed her hand on my shoulder, reminding me of why we were here. “He’s waiting for you.”
I nodded and rolled the tension off my shoulders. My main focus right now was Andres.
I didn’t know what I would be walking in. I had only ever seen him as this immovable force that could not be easily shaken. Seeing him lying in a hospital bed, vulnerable like that…
The door to his room opened, and I was wheeled in. The first thing I saw was him lying in the bed, hooked up to various machines and tubes. From where I was, I could see how pale he looked. The tubes sprouted out, of him and his chest rose and fell slowly as the machine counted the number of bests his heart produced.
Oh, Andres.
Mama wheeled me to the side of his bed where I was able to get a better look at him.
“I’ll give you some time with him, cara.” She kissed the top of my head tenderly. “If you need me, I will be right outside.”
My eyes stayed trained on my husband.
The heavy, cold feeling of guilt flooded my system. He was in this bed because of me. I had been rash and careless and ran full speed towards the fire. I didn’t stop to think that he would follow after me.
“You’re an ass,” my soft voice strained to even come out now. “You weren’t supposed to be there, Andres.”
His eyelashes kissed the top of his cheekbones, his lips closed and unmoving. This would be the part where he would scold me or say something in Spanish that he thought I wouldn’t understand.
