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Luckily, the bus stop is in view, and I plop down on the seat. The bus stop bench feels like a sanctuary I don’t deserve, a momentary reprieve from the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions swirling inside me. I sit there, clutching my phone, the cool metal a stark contrast to my clammy hands. Cayenne’s words echo in my mind, drowning out the city noise around me.
He seems like he could teach you how to laugh again.
It’s been so long since I’ve genuinely laughed. Not just a polite chuckle or a forced smile, but a real, deep belly laugh. The kind that leaves you breathless and tears streaming down your face. Dash has that effect on people, a lightness that draws you in and makes you forget the weight of the world.
I close my eyes and lean back against the bench, letting the sun warm my face. Why am I feeling so many emotions? Why does the mere thought of opening up to Quinn, Malachi, Zane, and Dash send my heart into overdrive?
Fear. That’s the first thing that comes to mind. The fear of being vulnerable, of letting down the walls I’ve built so high and strong. Every time I’ve let someone in, every time I’ve allowed myself to trust, it has ended in pain. Noah’s betrayal is a wound that has never fully healed, a constant reminder of what happens when you give someone the power to hurt you.
There’s more to it than just fear though. There’s hope too—a tiny, fragile hope that maybe things could be different this time. Quinn’s gentle touch, Malachi’s steadfast presence, Zane’s intense gaze, and Dash’s infectious laughter all offer something I’ve been missing, something I’ve been yearning for without even realizing it.
Connection.
I’ve been running for so long, running from my past, my pain, and myself. I’ve isolated myself, convinced that it was safer to be alone, but in doing so, I’ve also cut myself off from the very thing that makes life worth living—genuine, human connection.
The weight of fear and past traumas has become an anchor, dragging me down. It’s time to cut the chain. Maybe Cayenne is right. Maybe it’s time to stop trying and start doing. Maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith.
A bus pulls up to the stop, its brakes hissing as it comes to a halt. I watch as people get on and off, their lives intersecting with mine for just a brief moment. I could get on the bus and leave, continue running and hiding, or I could stay, face my fears, and give myself a chance at something real.
My heart races at the thought of staying, a mix of terror and excitement coursing through my veins. My palms sweat, my breath quickens, but for the first time in years, I feel truly alive.
“Okay,” I whisper into the phone, knowing Cayenne will understand.
As the bus out of town pulls away, my heart races. Stay or go? The familiar or the unknown? With each second that passes, the weight of my decision grows heavier.
I’m going to give this a chance. I’m going to let Quinn, Malachi, Zane, and Dash in. Because if I don’t, I’ll always wonder what could have been. And I’m tired of living with regrets. I’m going to let myself hope and heal. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s not going to happen overnight. There will be setbacks, misunderstandings, and moments when I’ll want to run again. But I owe it to myself to try.
I take a deep breath and stand up, feeling a strange mix of anxiety and excitement.
“So…” Cayenne jostles me out of my thoughts. “What are you going to do about it?”
I swipe at my eyes, watching the bus chug away with a cloud of exhaust. That’s when I look at the time on my phone and release a watery laugh. “Go to work before I get fired.”
“Then you don’t want to miss the next bus,” Cayenne states. “And, Aria, get to know who they are as alphas, and realize that at the end of the day, they aren’t Noah.”
“How dare you come at me with logic.” I sniffle, knowing she’s right.
“I have that habit, boo.” She sighs. “I don’t know how anyone can tolerate pack life.”
It’s a conversation we’ve had often, and one I want to save for another day. My emotions are raw and bruised. “It’s all about that dick,” I sing. “Bout that dick, bout that dick, knot-knotting.”
Laughter fills my ears as the next bus comes chugging around the corner.
“Love you,” I whisper and push as much emotion as I can into those two words, because the fact is, I still don’t think I deserve this bitch, but I’m so fucking thankful she’s in my life.
“I love you too.”
27
DASH
“I’m about to stage a one-man intervention,” I announce, bouncing on my toes and eying room thirteen-zero-six like it’s a piñata full of secrets. “Well, three. Because let’s face it, I’m awesome, but I’m not a one-man army.”
“Fucking hell, lover boy is already planning our bonding ceremony,” Zane scoffs as he heads toward the door. “Better fucking hope Scent Synergy doesn’t call in the next month. Quinn.” He knocks on the door with three gentle raps. “You have three seconds to open this door, or I’m coming in.” He is big mad.
“Go away!” Quinn’s muffled voice comes through the door, tinged with panic and exasperation.
I exchange a look with Malachi, who stands a few steps away with his arms crossed over his chest, exuding his usual I’m in charge and don’t fuck with me vibe. Unfortunately, I also see concern in his big chocolatey eyes.
