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“Right,” Sandy said, trying to smile again as she set her purse, and her grandmother’s letter, aside, so she could climb up.
She brought the letter for emotional support, but she didn’t really need it. She had read it so many times, she could recite it from memory. And she didn’t even need it to hear her grandmother speaking to her.
The lady said to get on the table. Get on. Stop lollygagging, grandma said in her mind, urging her to sit on the side and swing her legs up.
Sandy laid back, flattening her blouse as she licked her lips nervously.
‘The money from the house sale is all yours. I’m not leaving you with much, but that money can find you a new place to live. I’m sincerely hoping you won’t be working phones for the rest of your life, but if you do, it’s a job you do from home, so you can do it anywhere. So, go out there! Find a new place to live in a new town. Be a new you! And don’t forget to go to True Match. I made that appointment, and it wasn’t easy, so you’re damn well keeping it, you hear me? I know better than to think you’d ever download one of them dating apps or go out to a bar or something. But maybe you can find your soulmate that way, and there will be no bullshit required. Won’t that be nice?’
Sandy wasn’t sure if she wanted a soulmate. She wasn’t averse to the idea of a husband and kids, per se, but it was hard to think about making a new family when she just lost her old one.
Though, she supposed, that was her grandmother’s point. She didn’t want Sandy to let the years pass her by, living in memories. It was why she’d forced her out of the house they shared, made this appointment, and gave her orders to go out and live.
The lid pieces rose up from under the table, closing over her. Sandy had never been uncomfortable with enclosed spaces before, but she suddenly understood the phobia as they clicked, then hissed, locking her inside.
Her own heartbeat was too loud. She heard nothing from outside the pod, and the inside was disturbingly quiet. It wasn’t dark. There were lights running down the inside of the lid, but she wasn’t sure if that was better or worse because she could see how small the space was.
Granted, it wasn’t small. She wasn’t being suffocated. It looked like it was big enough to fit someone with a large belly, which her chubby belly didn’t really qualify, even if it was soft and round. But it was still a tightly enclosed, silent space.
She blew out a long breath and could swear she heard the air rushing through her lungs. It was viscerally uncomfortable.
“You’re doing good,” the tech said, her voice buzzing in through an intercom. “I’m going to start the process now. Hold tight.”
The warning came only seconds before the actual scan. Sandy didn’t have to ask if that was it, she knew it was.
The feeling wasn’t like being plunged into cold water or being shocked or even like there was pressure on her chest. Instead, it was an expanding type of feeling. Like all of her skin was trying to pull away from her muscles. Like she was being inflated with air and the pressure was pushing outward in a horribly disturbing manner, bordering right on the edge of pain.
She hated it and made a choked grunt of discomfort that didn’t even echo in the enclosed space. It was hollow in her ears, like all sound was being swallowed instead of reflected. Her hands tightened into fists as she clenched her entire body, as if that might keep her skin attached.
It wouldn’t, of course. And there was nothing happening to her anyway. The sensation was just that, a feeling. Her skin wasn’t moving at all. Nothing was expanding inside her. She repeated the mantra to herself again and again as the sensation passed.
The expanding feeling hit her quickly but faded slowly. The pressure gradually eased until everything felt like it was settled again. She couldn’t stop from touching herself, running her hands all over her body to make sure it really was in place.
It was. She was fine, not at all hurt.
But she was extremely grateful when the lid finally hissed and cracked open, light and air from outside rushing in. She took a grateful breath as the lid folded away.
The tech was there, smiling at her, holding a vomit bag at the ready.
“You alright?” She asked, cautious but ready to leap to her aid.
Sandy grimaced. “That sucked.”
The tech laughed, setting the bag aside as Sandy sat up. “Yeah. But at least it’s quick, and you only have to do it once! Want a juice or some water? It helps.”
Sandy accepted the water as she waited a minute to get her head back on before standing. That was apparently part of the process too, as the tech said nothing while she typed away at her computer, patient and understanding.
‘I want you to go out into the world, Sandy, my girl. I want you to experience everything that you ever wanted to do, everything you were afraid to do, everything that seemed impossible. I want you to fall in love and have adventures and expand your horizons. I want you to live every experience you can and become richer than money could ever make you. Go on a big trip. Go make mistakes! Heck, buy clothes that are from your era and not mine for once. You don’t need orthopedic shoes, girl, I don’t care how comfy they are! Be young and wild and free!’
Sandy left True Match and started the long journey home. Since there was only one in the world – for now anyway – it was a long trip to get there. Sandy had to book a plane ticket, and then drive over an hour back in her grandmother’s beat up old pickup truck.
She returned to an apartment that definitely didn’t feel like home. But the house had already been sold, and she had vacated it so that a new family could live in those old walls. Though it hurt, she had to admit, when she saw the couple and their three kids, she couldn’t help but agree with her grandmother’s decision.
That house was made for a family. For laughing kids running up and down the stairs. For a loving husband and wife to share lazy mornings with a hot cup of coffee on the big porch, for a dog or two to run around in the big yard.
Sandy would have been doing it a disservice to stay there all by herself. It felt right leaving it to someone who could love it properly and continue to do so for decades to come.
However, that didn’t mean the apartment she moved into felt right. It was a small studio in a town two hours from home – because she felt like that’s what her grandmother would have wanted. It wasn’t much, but at least it was a start.
