AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Robin stared me down for a few moments then nodded. “Sounds about right.”
“Love on the other hand is an entirely different feeling, and as we know, the kind of love we feel may differ from person to person. For example, loving someone is different from being in love with someone.”
“How can you be sure that what you have with Harper, and indeed what my daughter feels for you, is real love? Like you said, you’ve lived in close contact for years.”
Taking Harper’s hand in mine, I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles and stared intently into her eyes. “It’s no secret I’ve been in love before. Harper knows this more than anyone else because she saw how losing that love devastated me. Having these feelings again for Harper may even mean my love for her runs deeper than it does for Grace. Otherwise, how could I have survived losing Grace and then have fallen for Harper if this wasn’t the case?”
Looking away from Harper, I questioned Robin with a stare. “Harper makes me forget. When I’m with your daughter it’s her I want to be with. Not my dead wife. When we’re apart, I miss her more than I ever missed Grace, and believe me I missed her too. But I miss Harper more because I know her better than I did Grace. Do you understand?”
“I believe you,” Robin conceded, then he turned to Harper. “I’ll admit I was worried about you, Honey, but no man could explain it in the way Cole has, if he didn’t feel strongly for you. What he’s confessed takes a lot of thought.”
The transformation in Harper’s father’s demeanor following our conversation was nothing less than remarkable. I was glad to see it, because it meant he cared about Harper’s future. I also made a mental note about my future expectations of any man Layla brought home when the time came.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
“Can we talk?” Harper knocked softly on my office door and I swiveled round in my office chair to look at her. I’d been staring out at the incredible winter scene through the window where a white-tailed deer and her two fawns were trudging slowly through the snow, less than thirty feet from our house.
“Yeah, I wasn’t concentrating anyway. Check this out.” Standing up, I led her over toward the window.
“Aw, they’re gorgeous. We should call Stuart and get him to put some food out for them. It can’t be easy finding much to eat and drink in these conditions,” Harper mused, her eyes full of wonder.
“Is there anything you don’t want to take care of?” I asked, sliding my arms through hers and clasping my hands at her lower back.
“Hm, now you mention it, this is what I came to talk with you about.”
“If it’s the extra puppy Max and Sarah-Jayne have, the answer is no. Layla grumbles about walking Spot, unless it’s to go down to the stables to see Glitter.”
“It’s not about the puppy,” Harper stated firmly.
“Good. Then I’m listening, what is it?”
“I’m pregnant.”
My heart stopped for a beat, then electricity jolted through my body, my veins cramping from the sudden lactic acid as I struggled for breath.
The beaming smile and the sparkle in her eyes when she gave me the news disintegrated in front of me, and all I could think about was what had happened after last woman I loved said those words.
“Breathe, Cole,” Harper ordered, sternly. The devastation I had caused Harper by my reaction crushed me. I couldn’t speak. I didn’t want to talk, because I knew if I did, my thoughts would hurt her even more.
Conflict reigned in a raging battle within me. Although the last thing in the world I wanted to happen was to leave a scar, which would remain in her mind forever, the words stuck in my throat held no joy or encouragement, but were rather more sinister and foreboding in nature.
As I tried to block out my nightmare memories of the past, I fought through the internal anguish and pulled her hurriedly into my chest. Hugging her tight, for what had felt like an age, didn’t come off congratulatory like it should have been. Even I recognized it was a hug of desperation.
Pulling back from me, Harper gazed up into my worried eyes, hers full to the brim with unshed tears and my heart slowed from the panic I’d felt inside. Pushing her hair away from her face, I held her head in my hands in the same affectionate way I always did. “I know what you need from me, Harper, but I can’t bring myself to say it.”
Tears slid down her face unchecked as she stood silent for a moment, then she took a step back and shook her head. The wounded look in her eyes shattered me. I’d hurt her badly with my lack of response.
“I didn’t plan this, Cole, and I’m not even going to dissect how it happened, but we’re having this baby,” she said in a flat even tone. “I’m not Grace. What happened with her never should have, but it won’t happen to me.”
Nodding, I still couldn’t speak, because I knew whatever words came out would be wrong.
Turning away from me, she wandered slowly back through my office door and closed it behind her. As soon as she was gone, I dropped to the floor and prayed to God this wasn’t history repeating itself.
Leaving the song I was halfway through writing, I fought the meltdown brewing inside, because the last thing I wanted to do was lose my shit with Harper. Swiping my cell from my desk I called down the hall to Stuart.
“Can you saddle up Elbe for me?”
“Now? It’s freezing outside; some of the pastures are two feet deep in snow.”
