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“Which reminds me, early February I’m going back to work. We have a tour set from the twelfth.”
The effect my unexpected news had on Harper was immediate. Gone was all sense of having the upper hand, and her expression was a mixture of shock, hurt, and disappointment. My stomach sank because I knew there were unresolved feelings between us. From my perspective they had to remain this way.
“That’s fantastic news.” My brother gushed immediately. Shoving his chair back, he strode over to hug me.
“I agree. It’s time you got your life back, Cole. The guys in the band must be pleased?” my mom added.
Nodding, I looked to my mother and Grace’s, and the expressions on both of their faces told me they were happy about my decision; however, when I stole another glance at Harper, she was on her feet, head down, clearing the table.
Moving to the living room, for the rest of the evening we played games: the usual festive ones like charades and Name that Tune. I even sang, but Harper remained reserved and less bubbly than she had been before my news.
Eventually, due to full bellies, heads full of wine, and a tiringly long day, the parents went off to bed. Migrating to the kitchen again with Dorian, he grabbed his jacket and turned to look at me.
“About earlier…” he started.
“No. I was out of order. You’re right. She’s an amazing girl, and she deserves the world. It’s—”
“I was way out of line. I get your focus, but you’re my brother. I know you. Don’t you think I know how scared you are about the future and Layla?” For a second, my heart stalled as if he was about to tell me he knew how I felt about Harper.
I shrugged. “I know she’s going to go eventually, I’m just…” I huffed a heavy sigh, “I’m not ready for that to happen yet, you know? It’s depressing because it’s constantly on my mind.”
“Of course, but one day it’s bound to happen, Bro, and when it does I’ll be here. If you’re this bent out of shape about it, maybe you need to think about a plan B.”
Narrowing my eyes, I hated the conversation, but Dorian was right. But there was no plan B.
“There is no plan B.”
“Then maybe you need to start thinking ahead instead of the past.” Stepping forward, he wrapped me tight in a bear hug before stepping back.
“And I promise not to fuck your daughter’s nanny,” his tone was serious, but I made a joke out of the situation.
“Good to know, but I think a girl like Harper would laugh in your face if you tried.” Dorian chuckled and shook his head.
“Thanks for busting my balls and reminding me who the stud of the family is,” he replied with a smirk.
“Aw, don’t be depressed, someone’s gotta be the runt of the bunch,” I shot back and winked. Shaking his head again, he scoffed and stepped past me.
“Smug bastard,” he muttered humorously, and headed back to the living room where Harper was. She stood and wandered over to my brother.
“I’ve loved spending time with you today, Dor, we need to do it more,” she told him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. My chest tightened, and a knot formed in my stomach with her obvious show of affection for him.
Dorian looked at me over her shoulder, stuck his tongue out, and winked.
“Anytime, beautiful, just say the word.” My heart squeezed with love for the brother who had always been there for me, but I gritted my teeth and mouthed, “In your dreams.”
Raising an eyebrow, he pulled out of her embrace and I walked with him to the door. I hugged him again. “Thanks for everything, Bro, you have no idea how much I appreciate you.”
“Yeah, I do. It’s a lot, but not enough to let me inside Layla’s nanny’s panties,” he muttered, only loud enough for me to hear.
Shoving him out of the door, he chuckled and held out his hands palms up as if to say, ‘I rest my case.’ I chuckled back and shook my head. “Get some rest, next year’s gonna be a doozie when I’m on the road. You’re going to have to step up and play Daddy to Layla for the times when I’m gone.”
“I’m there, and excited for that. I love her so much… and you, little brother,” he said with conviction as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “See you tomorrow.”
As he turned away, I stepped back inside and closed the door. Turning around, I faced the living room door and I briefly checked out the stairs, before choosing to go back into the room to face Harper again. When I pushed the door open she was curled up on the couch, in the dark, in front of the fire.
Instead of going in I went to the kitchen and poured us both a fresh glass of red wine. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, but I knew I couldn’t leave things how they were. Making my way back to her, I placed her wine on the small end table beside her and took a seat farther away from her on the circular couch.
For a couple of minutes, we sat in a stony silence, both of us staring at the flames licking up the chimney of the fire place and wondering who’d be the first to talk. In my mind I went through several scenarios, all including an apology for my despicable behavior before, but it was Harper who broke the silence.
