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My nostrils flared, and in my impulsive frustration I turned and went after her. My hand covered hers firmly as she reached for the doorknob, and I slammed her front flat against the door, pinning her there with my body. Fuck. What the hell am I doing? Feeling my raging boner laying the length of her ass, I pressed myself closer and everything stopped.
My heart hammered in my chest as I felt my hard, neglected dick against the firm sexy curve of her tight little ass and it made me sag even closer. No amount of willpower in the world could have prevented it.
Immediately, she was all around me as my senses filled with the fragrant womanly smell on her soft shiny skin, the sight of her long dark silky hair; the feel of it as it brushed against my cheek, and the sound of her short labored excited breathing.
My eyes feasted on the curve of her shoulder a good six inches below mine. Grabbing a fistful of hair, I tugged on it sharply. “Is this what you’re after, Harper?” I muttered in a low gruff tone before moving her hair to the side and murmuring in a lower tone close to her ear.
“I know you can feel what you do to my body, but are you prepared for me to manhandle you like you don’t matter? How would you feel later if I dragged your jeans roughly to your knees, pulled your panties aside and fucked you raw, right here, right now—against any of these walls?”
My aggressive behavior was nothing like the bereaved, beaten man she’d witnessed in all the time she had known me, but since Grace’s death, women were for sex and as poor as it sounded, I’d treated them as a means to an end. Being inside them was nothing like making love to Grace; it was carnal, raw, and purely functional, and it had been mostly angry sex.
“Are you done?” Her salient tone sounded clipped and authoritative. It sparked my awareness as to what I had done. Despite her controlled question, the tension she held in her body betrayed her. Sexual anticipation rolled off her from the moment I leaned in to talk in her ear.
“You tell me, are we?” I shot back, my fingers still laced in the strands of her dark brown hair as I held it tight in my fisted palm.
Long seconds passed between us, the rawness of the moment vibrating like a plucked finely tuned string, and with every second that ticked by, I felt my envy ebb from my body. Then I realized how chemistry and jealousy almost ruined everything. She swallowed audibly and moved her neck to the side like she was considering my question.
The fact she didn’t shove me on my ass and cuss me upside down told me the feelings she had for me were more than superficial. For a split second, I wished I could give in to what I knew we both wanted. Probably what we both needed.
Leaning forward, I swallowed past the sudden swell in my throat and ghosted my lips to the back of her head and wished for one night I could just forget the world and all the pain I felt.
Gently, I kissed her hair, because I had to take that slightest taste, then I pulled my head back because I had too many unwanted feelings. Lust and want flowed through my veins and I knew I had never craved anything more.
When I caught a glimpse of the silky skin between her ear and her collarbone, it was my personal weakness about her, and it proved too hard to resist. It had been so long since I had felt this level of want, and I knew then I was feeling and not thinking. Don’t! This is a very bad idea.
Leaning forward again I inhaled deeply and drew the tip of my nose from her shoulder to her ear. I felt her chest heave and she sighed. I swallowed roughly as every nerve in my body fought against claiming her. “Don’t,” she whispered.
Harper’s one word jolted me to my senses and the moment she stated no, I stepped back, dropping my hand. I turned away.
Staring in confusion at the bed, I ran my hand through my hair as the reality of what I’d done hit me. Glancing up the bed I saw the puppy wrestling with one of my pillows in his mouth. I headed over to the bed and picked him up. In the seconds it had taken to do this, Harper had gone.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
For ten long minutes, I sat on my bed contemplating what a monumental fuckup I’d made. Fury and disgust flowed through my veins in equal measure as my jumbled mind tried to make sense of the chaos I’d created because of a moment of weakness and envy.
Shoving myself to stand, I knew I had to do something urgently, and in my haste I fired off a text message to Derek.
Me: Set up a small tour from Feb 12.
Derek: You got it!
I reluctantly made my way downstairs, knowing I had to pretend everything was normal. Despite what had happened, I still had people who expected me to entertain them.
“Right, who’s up for a game? Let’s get some life into us. It’s Christmas for fuck’s sake.”
Patient smiles from my mom and Grace’s mom told me they knew it was a deliberate change of subject for me as they rose from their chairs.
“Charades? Haven’t played that in years,” Angus suggested.
“Oh, what a great idea, though Cole’s no good at charades,” Harper drawled. The sarcasm dripped from her tongue like melted butter and Dorian raised a brow.
“Do tell,” he mused to Harper, and I could have kicked him in the nuts for picking up on her comment like she had a story to tell.
“Let’s just say he’s not a great actor. He should stick to performing. Isn’t that right, Cole?” The challenge in her bright intense stare made me instantly hard.
“It’s been a while since I performed,” I admitted, flirting back against my better judgment. I saw a wicked smirk tweak Harper’s lips.
I was treading water and had been for some time with her. Going back to work wasn’t something I really wanted to do, but it was something I had to do to gain some distance and a better sense of perspective where Harper was concerned.
